Redemption
by CoryMS
Summary: Will Riddick throw away his chance at redemption that Fry died for?
1. Default Chapter

REDEMPTION:

A "PITCH BLACK" FANFIC

CHAPTER 1

All "Pitch Black" original characters are property of USA Films, et al. All original fanfic characters are property of author. This story is for entertainment purposes only and is not for profit.

They were three of the sorriest looking traveler's that had passed through Polaris Distribution Station (hovering over the gas giant Polaris 5) as far as she could see.

And she had seen quite a few come through Polaris in her four years as a "material handler."

One man, in his early thirties in her best guess, was tall, dusky skinned and very muscular. He had close cropped hair and wore black, rounded goggles that totally hid his eyes. A black tank top, black boots and black, baggy microfiber pants, all of which were ripped or soiled. He exuded a sense of danger and "don't piss with me" attitude. And he was very protective of his female companion with whom he held hands.

She was very young, maybe 13 or 14 at the most. Skinny and gangly, she had the same amount of hair as the bad ass guy. But there the similarities ended. She was deathly pale and that made her dark blue eyes stand out even more. And there was no "don't piss me with me" attitude here. Oh no…this little girl had gone through something that had affected her greatly. Made her jumpy and nervous around people. And left her clinging to the bad ass. 

Her striped, boy style shirt and khaki colored baggy pants were stained dark in places. Blood?! The child needed some serious nourishment and clothes! She really hoped the bad ass wasn't molesting her or anything. But it wouldn't surprise her. Kids had to do whatever they needed to do to survive in the Omega Quadrant. Body bartering and other nefarious actions didn't seem so bad if meant living a little longer.

The third member of the party was robe enfolded Islamic holy man. Looked like he had been on a holy pilgrimage to New Mecca. Dark skinned, tall and undernourished looking, he gave off a sense of relief and sadness. As if a great loss had been dumped upon him and he felt guilty for living through it. 

She watched the trio head toward the check- in kiosk. Their steps slow, exhausted, hesitant.

Standing right behind the processing agent, Trina, she smelled them even before they spoke. Whew!!! "Ripe" wasn't the word! When was the last time these people had seen a micro shower?

She gave the young woman on duty as processor credit. She didn't shrink back too obviously. But she did look back at her with nervous and disgusted eyes. As much as she could, she reassured her by moving in right behind her chair. Not that her rounded, short body would be a big deterrent to Mr. Bad Ass here. But it was worth a shot.

"Can…can I be of assistance?"

"Yeah…we need comp sub." A complimentary efficiency apartment that usually consisted of one large room that had 1 to 3 beds and a segregated bathroom. They were offered free, courtesy of the mining companies to lure down on their luck travelers onto their payrolls. 

Like a hand rubbing over velvet, the younger man's voice washed over both women. Very deep with no kindness it whatsoever. Rather it was a continuation of his bad ass attitude. A person would have to be deaf not to realize the menace behind the voice. Yet it wasn't raised in anger. Just had that dangerous tone to it. The one that let you know that he thought you were a bug that needed squashing and that his boots were the perfect instrument to do the act. Add a little snotty derision, pseudo-sexy inflections and a great deal of sarcasm and you had one whacked out voice. 

He was kind of like passing a transport accident. You knew you shouldn't look, but you couldn't help yourself.

She glanced at Trina and saw her begin to shake. Half-way surprised she didn't see a puddle of pee under the chair.

"I'm…I'm sorry sir. All the free facilities are taken. There's only…paid in full available now."

Trina looked like she was about to faint right out of the chair. She kept looking back at her like the _she_ could protect her from the bad ass' wrath. 

As much as she could, she conveyed with her eyes that the processor was on her own if he blew a fuse. _Every helpless female for themselves with this one honey!_

Richard B. Riddick watched the silent communication between the two women. The one sitting behind the kiosk was a typical daddy's girl. She got a job only because papa refused to foot any more bills for clothes and such until she showed some responsibility. Blond, petite, maybe all of twenty two with perfect hair and teeth and skin. Never denied what she wanted and worse, raised to believe she deserved it. He would have bet his right arm that she hadn't struggled for a thing in her life, much less _for_ life. Women like that were good for one thing only. Fucking.

The one standing behind her seemed a little less clueless. She had kept her eyes on him the most of the time. She was evidently smart enough to know the real threat when in a situation that could turn ugly. And unlike the dip-shit, she hadn't given him one phony smile yet. And she was less prissy than her friend. She wore a regulation station hat and uniform, both of which were worse for wear. She was older also. Slight wrinkles and a tinge of shadows under her eyes lead him to believe she probably in her early thirties. She had a woman's cushiony body and an air of having seen a few bad times in her life. She also probably knew when to avoid a bad situation. They wouldn't be getting any help from her either.

He was tired, hungry and chafing under the unfamiliar feeling of being responsible for other's well being. Dealing with this shit was not his forte. Fighting and surviving he knew. When it came to kissing ass and working the system he was like baby lost in the park.

He attention focused on Jack when he saw her reaction to the blond bitches' announcement. She seemed to grow younger and sadder right before his eyes. Like she had had only enough strength to make it this far, and only with the hope of rescue and relief. 

Imam also saw her reaction and moved in, with Riddick, to shore her up. 

And that's when Zarifa Cholena made her fateful decision.

Her job for the station was O.K. Boring most of the time, hard work sometimes. But it paid for the relatively comfy apartment she lived in. Most of the people at the station were O.K. Not that she had any close friends. Her two roommates, Alexia Johnson and Brendan Norbert, were her closest friends and they were gone for awhile. Loneliness and a feeling of needing company had been in the back of her mind for a few weeks already. 

Maybe that was why she found herself doing what was totally unusual for her. Reaching out.

She knew after seeing the little group, especially the bad ass', reaction, that these were people in serious need. And that she couldn't leave them out in the cold. She knew what that felt like. 

Something inside of her was making her open her mouth even before she could think it through. Maybe the knowledge that someone had helped when she was in desperate need, with the only stipulation being that she return the favor if the situation ever arose.

"I'll vouch for them Trina. They can stay with me."

Riddick wasn't sure who was more surprised at her statement. Him or her.

Holy Shit!!! Had she really said that? What the hell was wrong with her??? Reality hit her over the head like a club. She didn't even know these people except for her first impressions. And it wasn't like she was some guru of character or anything!

But the older man and girl were looking at her like she had just sprouted wings and was playing the harp. The bad ass just stared at her. No smile, no expression on his face whatsoever. The goggles totally hid whatever he thought of her generosity.

Downright cold and scary!

But mentally she sighed. She HAD offered and she couldn't very well back out of it now.

"Check them in. I'm off duty in less than five anyway."

In a sotto voice that the workers on the next level probably could've heard Trina asked "Are you sure Zar? I could always call Security."

"No. It'll be fine. But thanks." A hesitant smile followed the words. If only it had been a true smile.

But she had started shaking inside already at her impulsiveness and stupidity. She wasn't so afraid of the holy man or the young girl. Though she knew that grifters and hit and run artists came in all ages and forms. But she trusted her instincts with these two at least. No, it was Bad Ass that had her regretting her act of kindness. The more she looked at him the more he seemed unreadable. Like looking into a window painted black.

But she wasn't going to make the holy man and the girl pay for her fanciful and unproven notions about their traveling companion. He did after all, seem very protective and concerned about the girl. That showed he couldn't be that bad right? 

No reassuring affirmative came back at her in her mind. But she did hear one great big unladylike snort somewhere in there. 

Oh well, might as well get this going.

"My name is Zarifa Cholena. Everyone calls me Zar. If you show me which is your luggage, I'll grab it and we'll head to my place."

"We have none ma'am. It was lost in..."

Bad Ass broke in while the holy man was explaining. "..in space. That's all you need to know."

The holy man gave Bad Ass a look of disappointment.

"Forgive my friend please. We've all had a rough time and it is only through the grace of Allah that we are here to partake of your kindness. You are truly a blessing child. And I, Imam, thank you sincerely."

"Your welcome Imam. And though I appreciate your calling me child, I'm far from it. And please call me Zar. I don't feel like a ma'am quite yet." 

She had directed her comments directly to Imam with a smile. Forget Bad Ass and his nastiness. She'd just ignore him.

She looked at the girl. "And you are?" 

"Jack."

"Jack? Nothing else? Just Jack?"

"Just Jack."

" Ohhhhkayyyy. Just it is."

She was relieved to see the smile creep up on the girls face. It meant she wasn't too far gone.

And she wasn't even going to give Bad Ass a chance to get snotty with her again by asking his name. But the Jack seemed to sense the growing hostility between the two and wanted to make it better. The poor thing probably didn't want him to piss their new benefactress off and therefore lose the food and other comforts she so desperately needed. 

Zar would never have done that. She knew what it was like to be dependent on other people, people you couldn't trust, for kindness and survival. It wasn't in her to treat others that way.

"This is Richard..."

Her voice grew dim. She was going to say a last name, but then obviously thought better of it. Bad Ass evidently wasn't all that kosher. Probably wanted for some violation. Great! Just what she needed.

But Jack was looking expectantly at him, begging him to play the game like she and Imam were. 

Yet still no expression on that damn Bad Ass face! The girl was practically in tears, in fear of losing the peace that was so close. Right there Zar almost hated him. She suspected he knew she was a softy and wouldn't back out of the deal just because of his rudeness. But Jack didn't. And he wasn't helping her peace of mind by not being just plain courteous back to Zar. 

But then Zar saw something that made her doubt her own eyes. He looked down into the tear filled face of Jack and smiled softly. 

"The last name's Carolyn. Richard Carolyn."

Imam and Jack gave a gasp. They both looked at Bad Ass as if he had grown another head.

Looking back down at Jack he smiled again. "She would've got a kick out of that." Definitely on the run. She wondered what for, but with the holy man and the kid, she figured it couldn't be too serious. Probably did some petty thievery or got on the wrong side of some official.

But wow! What a transformation! He actually looked like someone you could have a conversation with. Might even call friend! Even with those intimidating goggles. Richard Carolyn definitely needed to smile more. He evidently didn't subscribe to the old saying..." More flies with honey than sandpaper." But oh well. Maybe he had issues. After all, everyone had issues!

Jack seemed to calm immeasurably with those little smiles and turned back to Zar with a smile of her own.

"Ok, now that the intro's are out of the way, how about we head home?"

Imam moved up to her side bowing slightly. 

"Please lead the way Zar."

"See ya in a couple of days Trina."

"You're not working tomorrow?"

"Nope...Have two days vac coming."

"Take care."

"I will. You too!" She smiled back at the little processor who still had that very worried and terrified, but relieved it was all over, look on her face.


	2. 2

CHAPTER 2

Zar lead them down a corridor and then to the second elevator on their right. Others were waiting, but seemed to want to wait when it showed up. They would take the next one they assured her.

She couldn't blame them. The three travelers were reeking in the open the much less a confined space like an elevator. Who would want to share space with that? 

Richard with his grumpy bad ass face and attitude didn't exactly encourage company either.

By the time the elevator loaded with the three of them stopped at her floor, she was afraid she was going to pass out from holding her breath so long. 

Never had doors opening seemed such a wonderful sight. She felt sorry for the next batch of people who road that particular elevator. It was going to take a long time for it to air out.

Nobody had spoken the whole way up. Imam and Jack seemed embarrassed over the passengers who had rejected their company. Carolyn just seemed bored. 

And the silence continued even through her stopping at her door and opening it up with a swipe of her hand at the eye of the identifier.

The main room served as kitchen and dining room. There were six doors leading off it. There were no windows. But there was a lot of white plastic and steel. So very common in the living areas of the workers of Polaris Station. Zar had tried to make it more homey. Adding paintings and small knickknacks had given the apartment a little more warmth.

"You see the kitchen and eating area. This is my room." Pointing to the last door on the right.

"This one..." Gesturing toward the door next to hers. "... is the entertainment room. There's a vid and com screen in there. "The other three are all bedrooms. Pick among yourselves."

Jack looked curiously around. "Do you live by yourself?"

"Yes and no. I have two roommates. But they've been gone for two months and will probably be gone another year. They're on a mining pre-scouting mission in the Horseshoe Nebulae. Their rooms should be pretty clear. They packed their stuff away so I could rent out the rooms if I wanted. Haven't really needed to though so far. Good thing huh?"

"Yes Zar! A very good thing." Imam ready smile made her feel like she done the greatest thing ever in her life.

"I'll make some dinner. Anybody have any restrictions? No pork for you Imam right? Or alcohol?"

"That is correct. I'm sorry if that is a great inconvenience to you."

"Don't worry. I'll adapt."

"Jack?"

"As long as it's food!"

"Hah, hah...that's a kid for you."

She purposefully didn't ask Carolyn. Screw him! He and his bad ass attitude could eat shit as far as she was concerned. 

"You know what? I think it would be a good idea for you guys to wash your clothes till you get new ones. There's a washing unit next to the bathroom. While you're taking showers, I'll get the food ready."

"That a hint?"

"My God! It speaks???!!!"

She had no idea why she had teased Carolyn that way. But she guessed it was her impulsive mouth again. Well, good! Let him know she wasn't intimidated by him, well not too much anyway.

She expected he'd ignore her little taunt or maybe even growl. Instead she got back a little smile. 

"Well don't I just feel like the most blessed creature this side of Earth! A smile from Mr. Bad Ass! Wonder's never cease! And yes that was a hint. I'm sure you folks went through some shit. But you actually smell like you _went_ through some shit!"

"Jack can go first."

"Yes, that is fine with me Rid..er..Richard."

Zar caught the quick flash of fear on Jack's face at Imam's correction. And the cold anger on Carolyn's.

"Listen, I don't know what went on, who all of you are, where your from. And to be honest, I don't want to know. The less I know the less I can tell. All I care about is that you treat me, and my stuff, with respect while you're here. And that you don't bring any kind of crap down around my ears. You can have your little secrets, and I'll have mine. Agreed?"

Jack and Imam nodded with a relieved gesture. Carolyn just continued to stare at her through the goggles.

"Agreed Mr. Carolyn?"

"Fine. And call me Richard." He didn't say it in the normal polite voice that most people used when they asked to be called a certain way. Rather it came out in a tone of voice suggesting she wasn't worthy to utter the name Carolyn.

__

Whatever you jerk! "Fine. Come on Jack. Jump in the shower and leave your clothes on the floor. It only takes a few minutes to clean them. I'll show you how to do it and you show the guys."

The two women went through the automatically opened door and soon the much muffled sound of a shower could be heard.

"Watch your mouth holy man!"

" I apologize ...Richard. All I can say in my defense is that I am very tired. At the same time, I don't think we have to worry about Zar. She seems a very kind woman. And very non-judgmental. This a very brave thing she does by taking us in."

"Oh I don't know about brave. More like incredibly stupid. And I think she regretted the offer two seconds after it came out of her mouth."

"I get that impression also. But where many others would have found an excuse to worm out of it, she kept her word. She is a good woman. And I praise Allah for leading us to her. Jack especially needed relief. I don't think she could have lasted much longer without peaceful rest and food."

" I hope your right about our Zar here holy man. 'Cause if you're not, this could the end of the line for us all. And I have no intention, whatsoever, of going back to Slam. Even if means leaving the two of you."

"Jack would be devastated if you left. You have taken on responsibility for her now. You can't just leave her!"

"Ya ever think she's better off without me?!"

"Would you two keep your fucking voices down out here! She's can hear every word your saying and she's balling like a baby. You're scaring the shit out of her Richard! So just shut up!"

They had been so intent in their argument they hadn't noticed the bathroom door opening. Zar stood with her hands on her hips and eyes blazing. Her short, rounded body vibrating with anger. For the first time Riddick noticed her as a woman. He wondered if she'd bring the same kind of passion to sex as she did to protecting the underdog. He reminded himself to ask Imam the next time they were alone, what exactly she looked like. The color of her eyes, the shade of her hair. But then again, he reminded himself that all pussy looked the same in the dark. Even to him.

He could hear Jack's soft sobs in the bathroom and without even thinking about his reasons set off to comfort her.

And came to a crashing halt at the immovable object that was Zarifa Cholena on the warpath.

"Move." He had said the word quietly and with the all the menace of his best prison attitude. 

If Zar hadn't been so mad, she would have been petrified. Instead it just pissed her off more.

"Hell NO! Where do you think you're going? She's taking a shower in there. Leave her some dignity man!"

At that moment he realized how ill equipped he was for taking care of a teen -age girl, and how Zar was the exact opposite. And he was suddenly very grateful to this mouthy, round, short, tenacious, sexy as hell woman for taking Jack in. She would be a friend for life from this moment on. He wasn't used to being grateful. The last time someone had done something selfless for him she had died for it. It was too new and too raw to deal with right now.

"Fine. I'll wait. Tell her I'm not leaving her."

"Damn straight you're not! _Stupid fucker, Mr. Bad Ass attitude_." The second sentence had been mumbled under her breath. But Richard, used to listening for the shiv aimed at his throat in the night, heard every word.

"What did you call me?"

He wanted to laugh outright at her eyes growing wide. But he kept his prison face on. Not a smirk lifted the corners of his mouth as he leaned his face down to hers. 

Most men he knew would be pissing their pants right now. That's how good he was at playing the killer. Playing hell! He was a killer. He hadn't needed the law to add any of the trumped up charges they did to make the title accurate. But he had only killed to survive or when threatened. 

He couldn't help it that he was very good at killing. The Alliance Security Forces and prison had made him what he was. And he was one dangerous mother fucker. And most men and women knew it. This one on the other hand didn't seem to let her fear override her concern for a child. 

She definitely reminded him of Carolyn Fry.

He knew even Imam was worried about what his reaction to Zar's defiance. As unobtrusively as possible he was moving around Riddick towards Zar in order to help her if he struck out at her.

But the little lady had balls! And he was mightily impressed when she just tightened her jaw and looked right back into the goggles and said "Stupid fucker. I called you a stupid fucker , Mr. Bad Ass attitude. And what's with the goggles any way?"

"Stupid fucker huh?" And proceed to have a belly laugh that sounded like a cross between a cat hacking up a hairball and someone attacking a conveyer belt with an axe.

She hadn't jumped or even twitched the whole time he was standing over her. But when she heard his giant bark of a laugh, she almost did pee her pants. She half expected some alien to come crawling out of his mouth. The laugh sounded that unused and against nature for him. 

"So you want to see my eyes huh? Fine take a look and see some true bad ass attitude."

He slowly lifted the goggles from his head, but kept his eyes cast down. Totally hiding his eyeballs from her gaze.

Zar almost told him to stop and put the goggles back on at that point. She was sure some horror was waiting of her in those eyes. But she had come this far and was not going to back down now. But why was he taking so long to raise his eyelids?

It was then that she realized that Richard was a bully. He liked intimidating people with his eyes, and over powering physique and bad ass attitude. And that he was probably one of the loneliest people that she would ever know. That all the intimidation was just a defensive weapon against getting too close or caring, or getting killed. She wanted to find out what had occurred in his life to turn him into the hard as nails on the outside, soft and vulnerable of the inside. And the fear disappeared to be replaced with pity and compassion.

Richard saw her hands move towards his face in his excellent peripheral vision. He half expected her to smack him for his delaying and intimidation. Hell, he figured he even deserved it.

Instead he felt the warmth of her fingertips against his stubbled cheeks. The shock of the gentle touch made him want to look at her in the eyes finally. But he didn't get the chance. For she had moved two of her fingers quickly over his eye lids while the rest of her hands curled around his jaw and ears. Gently she forced his forehead down to her lips to receive the light as air kiss she gave him.

"Keep your secrets Richard. It doesn't matter anymore."

She released his head and turned quickly towards the open doorway. Back to Jack and her much diminished crying.

But he caught her chin before she could get away. Turning it as gently as she had touched him, he brought her face around to gaze directly into his eyes.

She didn't recoil as so many did upon first seeing his "shined" eyes. Rather she looked like she was going to cry...for him and the pain they must have caused him at one time.

"What happened?"

"I was thrown in prison. For a very long time with no hope of ever seeing daylight again. There's a doctor there that does reflective surgery on eyes for a certain price. Twenty menthols are the starting price. This way no one sneaks up on me or mine in the dark."

"It looks painful. Does the light hurt your eyes?"

"Sometimes. Depends of how bright it is. Aren't you going to ask what I was in prison for?"

Zar seemed to contemplate the question as she looked into his silvered eye surfaces.

"I guess you'll tell me whether I want to know or not. So get it out of your system."

"I'm a murderer. I have a tendency to cut people."

He waited for her to recoil in horror. But again she did something no one else had ever done. 

She seemed to feel his anguish, his anger, his pain at the way his life played out before him.

And so, to her, it seemed the only thing she could do in reaction to his brutal announcement was to cup his face in her hands and whisper "I'm so sorry." 

Turning away she slipped through the bathroom door and closed it.

Leaving a stunned Richard staring at the door as if it had landed a punch to his midsection.

Slowly a smile spread over his face as he continued to stare at the door and listen to the sounds behind it.

"How very interesting." 


	3. 3

CHAPTER 3

Her "guests" had settled into a routine after the first few days. 

Jack still wasn't strong enough to go to school yet, so she slept, watched the vid screen and did light cleaning around the place. Zar was relieved when she started eating anything not nailed down. Like a typical teenager.

Imam had found a mosque in the complex and spent his time there when not watching over Jack. Courteous to a fault, he helped out around the apartment whenever he could. She sensed he was disappointed in Richard and his continuing aloofness. He seemed to be a mission to reform the man who obviously did not want to be reformed. 

But one thing didn't make sense. For a guy who so wanted to be seen as a loner, Richard spent almost all his non-work time with the three of them. Not that he talked a lot to any of them. But he was always there. Watching, listening, making Zar jumpy.

Richard had recuperated quickly after a shower and a hot meal the first day. The man could eat like a horse! But she gave him credit for going out the next day and finding a job on the loading docks. They were always looking for new workers since the job was so dangerous and the turn-over high. Zar had heard of more than a few "loady's" getting squashed between containers. 

When she warned him about the dangers, he just gave her one of those shit-eating smiles. 

So she shrugged her shoulders and figured she'd done her duty.

None of the group had volunteered any information about where they had come from or why they had arrived in such bad shape. 

She knew one thing though. Jack suffered some whopper sized nightmares. The first night she'd heard her scream she thought someone had broken in and was killing the girl. The terror of those screams still had the power to make her shiver even now. 

Zar hated blasters and gauges of any type and didn't keep any in the apartment. But she would've given her left hand to have one after hearing those screams. 

She had rushed to the girls' room expecting to have to force the door open to rescue her. The sight that greeted her instead was Jack enfolded in Richard's arms, sobbing her heart out.

Zar didn't know what had shook her more. The girls sobs or the sight of Richard holding her so kindly. Just when she figured him out for a total shit-head, he did something that made her see a different side of the man. 

Not that he wanted her to see him for anything other than a shit-head. He did his best to keep her pissed at him. Whenever he did talk it was most likely to complain about the food, the bed, her perfume, the size of her ass and any other little item that seemed a candidate for bitching over. And done all with a nasty smile and even nastier tone of that baritone voice.

But she was realizing more and more that Richard could be a different kind of man. She'd catch him staring at her back in the mornings as she got ready for work. But it was so damn hard to figure out what he was thinking behind those shining orbs of his. He seemed to wear the goggles less and less in the apartment. She figured he thought his eyes bothered her and kept her on edge. All the better, in his warped little view, in keeping her from asking too many questions or getting to close.And they did bother her. But the didn't disgust her. Rather she felt compassion for the man growing. He had obviously had a hard start in life. And had had to do some serious shit just to survive. Even to the point of letting himself be mutilated. 

Zar was smart enough not to let him in on her true feelings. He wouldn't appreciate them at all and would probably redouble his efforts to piss her off. So she just played along with his little torture games. And when he got too mean, she just stayed out of his way. It seemed the smartest way to go.

She had no idea why she put up with him. Well, yes she did. She knew Imam and Jack wouldn't stay if she kicked Richard out. And she liked their company very much. She hadn't had anyone to mother and fuss over in a long time and it felt good to be needed. It was _only_ for them that she let him stay. Or so she told herself. 

But the uncomfortable truth was that she caught herself breathing heavier whenever he entered the room with just her in it. Almost as if her instincts were expecting him to attack her. She wouldn't examine too closely the fact that her breathing reaction could be identical to sexual arousal. 

She hadn't pressed them to find a place of their own now that they had money coming in. As long as they didn't bring up the issue, she wasn't going to either. She had even taken the money Richard left on the counter from his first paycheck and spent it on new clothes for Jack.

And Richard in his normal taciturn way hadn't said "boo" when he'd seen Jack in her new finery. The kid had positively glowed with happiness when she showed off her new clothes to him. Oh, he gave Jack a big smile and hug. And said absolutely nothing to Zar. Not "thanks", not "they're ugly", not anything. 

It had been left to Imam, who obviously felt ashamed that Richard had not said anything, to thank her.

So she ignored him as much as she could. If he wanted to treat her like an enemy that was his business. _She_ knew she'd done nothing to merit his crappy treatment. So fuck him...let him play games with himself.

But if she was totally honest with herself, she would admit it hurt that he treated her that way. 

She usually loathed men of his kind. Bullies, brutal, violent. But for some perverse reason she _wanted_ to please him. To hear his praise. Probably for the same perverse reason that she had been having erotic dreams about him. If it had just been nighttime dreams she could excuse them for the uncontrollable actions of a mind under the influence of sleep. 

But more and more she caught herself day dreaming about Richard too. 

And whew! What day dreams they were! 

Maybe that was another reason why she avoided him. She was too afraid he'd see the desire in her eyes. And then, Oh boy!, he'd let loose a stream of vindictive and taunting comments that would leave her feeling like an some low-life woman who only got the hots for the bad guys. Better to drag her mind away from anything having to do with him altogether.

She looked up from the luggage belt next to her and gazed around. It had been a really slow day with few arrivals. Which made the day go that much longer.

Across the room, she saw a group of men offloading on the number 4 ramp.

_Dear God, no! It can't be him!_

Elson Brenner! 

Her world tilted crazily. She knew she wasn't far from fainting and made a jerky movement to sit down. 

It had caught his attention and now he was staring at her. There eyes met for what felt like hours instead of the 15 seconds it actually was.

Seeing those light, evil eyes made the memories flood back. Memories she had worked hard at burying for four whole years. But now they were washing over her. And bringing with them all the rage, pain and horror that had been her life before coming to Polaris.

She had to get out of there! She couldn't breathe!

What if he recognized her?! Would he come after her?! The group?!

No...he didn't seem to have recognized her in the brief once over he gave her. 

But the memories were coming on strong now, along with the pain.

They were going to sweep her under! She knew she had to get some place safe before she lost the ability to function.

As nonchalantly as she could on wobbly legs she made her way over to the desk where the time clock was. Her supervisor, George Shipowitz sat staring a vid screen. Probably porn knowing George. Which might work in her favor. If George was engrossed in his entertainment, he might not give as hard a time as he normally would. 

"George...I'm sick. I'm going home." Her voice left no doubt that no matter how much he whined, she wouldn't change her mind.

"'Kay...whatever. Just leave me alone." His eyes had never left the screen.


	4. 4

CHAPTER 4

"There's something wrong with Zar!"

Richard hadn't even come completely through the door when Jack was in his face. 

He was tired and on edge more than usual. And it wasn't just work. Though his co-workers there were mostly assholes. Whether it was prison or a loading yard, there was always some dickless wonder trying to prove his non-existent manhood by taking him on. He needed to keep this job for Jacks sake so he avoided them as much as possible. He never went looking for trouble, but just the fact that he was wearing goggles seemed a challenge to the macho boys.

They had no idea how lucky they were in his restraint. 

And his sixth sense for trouble had been tickling the back of his mind all day. He trusted that sixth sense utterly. It had saved his ass more than once on Slam City.

Maybe this had been what his sixth sense had been warning him about.

"What'dya mean? She sick or something?"

" I don't know! She came home 3 hours early. Just came in and went straight to her bedroom. It was like she was shell shocked or something! I tried getting her to talk to me through the door, but she won't answer. I'm really scared for her Riddick!"

He didn't even bother correcting her. She was so upset she probably hadn't even realized the error.

"Did Imam try?" Imam and Zar got along well. They were almost as close as Zar and Jack.

"He's hasn't come home yet."

Riddick let out a small sigh as he stared at Zar's door. He was probably the last person she wanted to talk to right now. 

He had made a point of keeping her at arm's length by being a real bastard to her. And it worked. Most days her eyes reflected the bewilderment and anger whenever he taunted her. 

And they reflected something else. Something he wasn't willing to explore. It meant taking too many chances. He had let Jack and to a certain extent Imam, into that part of his heart that actually cared about things. 

But letting a woman in meant risking an even greater danger. For the woman, not necessarily him. Just look what happened when Carolyn Fry had died. He had too much baggage, both in his past and emotionally. It wasn't fair to any woman. Especially one as caring and warm as Zarifa Cholena.

So he had pushed her away for her own good. Though she wouldn't see it that way.

Not that he wasn't tempted to get involved with her physically. He had no idea why, but every time she walked into the room he fought getting a hard on. Oh, he knew she was passingly pretty with dark brown hair and blue eyes and lots of freckles due to Imam telling him, when he casually asked what she looked like. He had explained all he saw was an outline of various shades of white, gray and cream. 

He didn't think it was her looks that made him stare at her. But rather he thought he was attracted to her for her smiles and laughter. He'd never been around someone who laughed and smiled so much and so easily. And found he liked it. When she smiled at you a Bad Ass had to catch himself from smiling back, lest he lose his Bad Ass image.

But now she was suffering from something else. He hoped it was only a physical ailment. He didn't think he could help if it was anything else.

Leaning against her door he listened for any signs that she might be moving around.

"Zar? Open up. It's Richard."

Nothing. 

"Are you sick?"

Silence.

"Come on... you're scaring Jack."

He knew she could hear his voice through the door. But even the note about Jack being affected hadn't brought a response. 

"If you don't open the door, I'll find a way of breaking it down!"

"Please...just leave me alone! I just need sleep."

Her voice sounded strained. 

"Are you sick?"

"NO! I just want to be left alone! PLEASE!"

The sound of her voice was sending off alarm bells in his head. It sounded too on edge. As if one little push could send her stepping off. But he didn't think it wise to force the issue.

As he walked away he took hold of Jack's arm, leading her away from Zar's door. "Let's leave her be for the mean time Jack. She'll probably come out of it in the morning."

"Are you sure? She sounded really upset. Do you think one of us did something?"

"Nah...probably something happened at work. Let her work it out on her own. We'd ask her to do the same thing."

That seemed to make Jack accept the fact that she should let Zar be. But through the rest of the night, he saw Jack's gaze settle time and again on the door. 

Imam, after he had returned, also seemed hesitant to leave well enough alone once he learned of Zar's strange behavior. 

But he, like Jack, finally accepted Riddick's advice and went to bed without trying to talk to Zar.

Before he retired, Riddick took one last look at the door. Something was seriously wrong he knew. He also knew that if Zar didn't come out on her own tomorrow, he would have to find a way to get in. 

Stripping to his underwear, he laid in bed worrying about her not having eaten, about her obvious upset and about how he was going to help her.

And realized in blinding flash of reality, that she too had worked her way into his heart to join Jack and Imam there. All the road blocks that he had set up were torn to shreds after just one disconcerting episode.

He cared about the woman! _Fuck!_

"AHHHHHHHHH....AHHHHHHH....NOOOOOO!"

The screams had him out of bed with a double pounding heart. Right away he recognized that they weren't Jacks. They were Zar's!

Shit! Now what!

Rushing out with his shiv that he always kept under his pillow, he didn't bother asking for "lights". If something was attacking Zar he wanted to use the darkness as a shield.

But a quick scan with his night vision showed Zar's door was open and only she was in her room.

She was on her knees next to the bed. Hands holding her head and her eyes squeezed tightly shut. Her face a study in pain and wet with tears.

He dropped to his knees in front of her.

"What is it? A migraine?"

"What's wrong? Should I call a med-tech?" He turned to look at Jack's terrified face that had appeared behind him in the open door way. Back lit by the dining room light she had put on. Imam soon joined her. Concern for Zar making him frown.

"Hold on a moment. I don't know what's wrong. "

Reaching out to grab her hands from her face he whispered "Does your head hurt? Should I have Jack call the med-tech?"

She gave a negative shake of her head and opened her eyes. In them he saw the source of her pain. And knew it wasn't a physical cause. She was reliving some sort of horrible memory instead.

"Don't call the med-tech's. I don't think it'll help."

She pulled her hands from his grasp and wrapped them around herself. Rocking like those overwhelmed with pain often do. Staring at his bare chest, but not really seeing him.

He knew what bad memories could do a person.

She needed to get them out in the open, cleanse the wound, so that it could heal.

"You two go back to bed. I'll take care of her."

"Are you sure Riddick? Maybe we should all a stay with her." Imam obviously did not feel comfortable leaving a vulnerable Zar with a rough edged Riddick.

Slowly he got to his feet as he watched Zar continue to rock back and forth. At that moment he regretted his decision to act the Bad Ass with her. Because she was going to have to rely on him to get her through this. Imam was too much of cleric and Jack was just a kid. They had no idea the strength of the pain Zar was going through. But he did. Because he had been through it also. He was going to have let the human in him come out for her sake.

"Whatd'ya think I'm going to do holy man? Rape her?" he said with a touch of his biting, sarcastic habit in his tone.

"No! No my son. I ... well. Fine. If you think it's best for her. Come Jack. Leave them be. Riddick will take care of Zar."

As Imam lead Jack back to her room, he face reflected her worry. Zar had become so close to her in the three weeks they had been there. She didn't like seeing her in pain and not in her right mind. But she also trusted Riddick to help her. After all, hadn't he got her through her own hell?


	5. 5

CHAPTER 5

Riddick closed the door and faced the woman still rocking on her bedroom floor.

She just looked so damn vulnerable!

How the hell was he going to get her to come out of it? He wasn't some psycho-tech with all their gobbledy-gook and meds. He was an on the run killer with way too many layers of self-survival instinct to make a good friend.

And even worse, if he let his compassion for Zar come out, would it weaken those self-survival instincts? What if, in warming her heart from its trap of cold and pain, also warmed his own cold heart? Wouldn't that reduce his chances of survival? Hadn't he compromised it somewhat already in his protection and care of Jack and Imam? 

Caring about people is what made you vulnerable. They were weapons one's enemies could use against you. They stopped you from being able to do the tough things that sometimes needed to be done. Something he couldn't chance. 

But staring at Zar's face and her very obvious need to be held and comforted, he knew he didn't have the strength to walk away. Just like he hadn't had the strength to walk away when those _things_ on Taurus 2 had attacked Jack in the bone yard.

He slowly lowered himself into a sitting position behind Zar. His long legs on either side of her and his back up against the side of her bed. 

Not sure what kind of reaction his touch would produce, he gently grasped her by the upper arms and eased her off her knees. She let him move her like a rag doll, though he could feel the tension running through her frame. Soon her back was up against his chest and his arms curled around her waist. 

She hadn't said a word during the whole process, though he could still hear her crying. Tears dripped off her cheeks and splashed onto his crossed arms.

"Zar? You have to calm down and tell me what's wrong. What's got a hold of you?"

Her only reaction was to lay her head against his chest. The smell of shampoo she used drifting up to him.

Lowering his head till his lips barely brushed her ear he murmured the question again.

Silent seconds passed by and he was starting to think he had bit off more than he could chew.

"Have you ever killed a child?"

"What?!" Where the hell had that come from? "NO! I've never killed a child. Or a teenager for that fact. My confrontations have all been with grown men. Why?"

No response, just a slight shiver coursing through her body.

Riddick reached behind him and grabbed the comforter off her bed. Throwing it around his shoulders he closed it around the both of them. Cocooning them in each other's body heat.

"Why ask about killing a child Zar? Why??!!"

A blinding thought occurred to him, what if...?

"Did you kill a child Zar?" He had a hell of a time even imagining it. Especially with her obvious care for Jack. But sometimes people did bad shit when push came to shove. Or maybe there had been an accident.

Her answer was so quite he had to bend nearer to hear it.

"No...but I watched them kill mine."

So that was it. Something or someone had dredged up a bad memory today.

He had wondered, during the many times he had watched her do her domestic activities around the apartment, what kind of past she had. She seemed so motherly to Jack, and acted unlike someone who had been alone for most of their adult life.

But to see your child murdered! 

"How?"

"I can't...I can't! It's taken so long to get on with life. The pain will kill me!" Her sobbing escalated at the last of her words.

"You have to! Your PAIN is killing you now! You can't last like this much longer. You're tearing yourself up inside. Let it out!"

She felt his arms around her, his solid chest at her back. The two of them wrapped in the comforter gave her a feeling of being in a different time and place. Where no one else existed but Richard, her and her pain. How nice if was just the two of them without the pain! But she didn't think she could do it. It was just too hard to tramp down the instinct that kept her functioning for the past four years. The instinct to bury the pain so that she could lead a life. 

Then suddenly it seemed she had no choice. Elson Brenner's face flashed before her eyes and the pain and memories rose up in her like vomit.

"He killed my baby! Oh God! The bastard killed my whole family!"

"Shhh...calm down. Tell me from the beginning."

He felt her gathering her strength. And maybe dredging up the memories that had been buried down deep."

"It was four years ago. I lived with my husband, Lloyd Arnett and our daughter Elizabeth on a colonial rural planet named Jessup 2. We lived about an hour out of the main community, Branson's Hole. 

We had a pretty good life. Lloyd mined gypsomnite and did a little farming. We didn't have a lot of money, but we got by fine. We were even talking about having another baby. Elizabeth was almost two.

The one thing we did have was a lot of land. Land that a particular consortium wanted very badly. They offered an outrageous amount of money for it, but Lloyd didn't want to sell. He wanted to stay, put down the roots for Elizabeth that neither he nor I had. We had both been Orion Plague babies. Orphaned in the outbreak of '45.

I figured he knew best.

But the offers kept coming and getting bigger and bigger. Lloyd and I kept refusing. Then all of a sudden they stopped. I guess we should've known something was coming, but naively we just thought they had given up.

One day, about 3 months later, 4 men showed up. Rough men, dangerous men."

Riddick new by her inflection she was talking about men like him. No wonder she asked if he had killed any children! 

For a man who feared little, he dreaded hearing the rest of the story. He could see himself so easily in her eyes as one of those four men.

"Tollis Robinson was our only farm hand. He and Lloyd went out to see what they wanted. I kept Beth in the house with me for safety. _HA!_ Little good that did! I should've run out the back door at first sight of them and not stopped till I got to the forest! I did, but too late.

But at the time, I figured Tollis and Lloyd could handle them.

No sooner had they stopped in front of the men when one of them shot Tollis in the leg. He went down on his knees. The other three grabbed Lloyd and tied him up.

I was terrified! We had no weapons in the house! I hated fire arms with a passion anyway and had never learned to handle one. And though I loved Lloyd very much, and cared about Tollis, I wasn't going to put my baby in harms way.

So I grabbed her and ran for the back door.

Right into the stinking arms of a fifth man I hadn't seen.

He dragged me, still holding the baby, out into the front yard and pushed me to my knees. 

They made me and Lloyd watch as they wrapped a wire around Tollis' neck. 

Lloyd begged them not too. Said he would sell the land to them. Give it to the consortium for free! Just leave us alone!

But the animals just ignored his pleas.

With a man on each end, they pulled on the ends of the wires until...until...oh God! They decapitated him! _The fucking butchers cut his head off!!!_

I had turned Beth's face away from it. But I couldn't stop watching. Thinking that this was just some nightmare and that I would wake up any minute. But I didn't wake up. And it just got worse.

The man watching me snatched Beth from my arms and threw her on the ground. I was enraged and terrified. I thought for sure he'd killed her.

But that wasn't his intention ...yet.

He laughed at me as I tried to get to her in a panic. Pushing me back as I came within touching distance of her. Sneering and mocking me as I sobbed.

Then he kicked the legs out from under me and I landed on my back. Just where he wanted me.

He pushed down his pants and knelt over me. Ripping my pants down as he forced my hands under my butt. 

Beth was still crying, screaming really. I knew he was going to rape me, but I just wanted it over with so I could get to Beth!

But he wanted to make it a nice long rape. Something that would cause Lloyd so much pain that he started begging and crying. But he couldn't do a thing. They had him tied up facing me. He was within two feet of me but they wouldn't let him near me. 

The first few minutes I just stared at Lloyd's face. Listened to Beth ball. But then the pain got too bad and I had to close my eyes. The bastard was ripping me apart and ramming again and again into flesh that wasn't meant to be treated that way! 

It seemed like hours, but it must have only been a few minutes at most. Finally he was done, pulling out and ejaculating on my stomach. 

And I thought 'Finally, it's over! They taught us a lesson and now they'll leave!'

But they were far from done.

I could only lie on the ground. I was bleeding internally and could feel the hot blood seeping from between my legs. I was barely conscious but felt relieved that Beth had quieted at least. The poor thing was in shock by that point I think.

Lloyd was sobbing. Unable to say a word. 

Then the head guy, a man I later learned named Elson Brenner, lit up a cigarette. He nodded to one of the other men and that guy walked over to their transport vehicle and grabbed a portable fuel container off the back.

They were going to torch the place!

And they did. But only after dousing Lloyd with fuel also. Elson Brenner then tossed his cigarette onto my husband. Exploding him in flames.

My God! How he screamed. I could feel the heat of him even in my semi-conscious state. But, Blessed Mother, he had enough mind left to throw himself away from Beth and me. It seemed forever before he stopped making any noise, even longer before his body stopped jerking.

I knew it still wasn't over. 

The one who had raped me grabbed Elizabeth and took her over to Brenner. I was filled with an absolute terror at the way he was looking at her. What were they going to do to my baby?!

Holding her like a sack of potatoes under his arm he came over to me. And smiled down at me. The sickness of that smile. 

Then he started kicking me in the stomach and the head. I fought to stay conscious for Beth. I couldn't leave her alone with him!

But he didn't want me unconscious or dead, just yet.

The other men had spread fuel inside and around the outside of the house and set it on fire. But the front wall of the house wasn't engulfed yet. 

Brenner walked over to that wall and laughed as he bashed my baby's head against it. I truly pray she died of the first blow! Because after he swung her at the wall three or four times he dropped her on the ground, and crushed her head with his boot.

That was my last conscious thought. I don't know if the injuries finally caught up with me or if I just willed it.

I figured, hoped, they would kill me then, but they left me for dead instead. They probably figured the animals from the forest would make quick work of the bodies.

Three days later I woke up in the hospital in Branson's Hole. A neighbor had seen the smoke and came to investigate. He had heard of Brenner and his gang's handy work before this. So he took me to the hospital under an assumed name.

He told me nothing was left of the farm. He and a few other's had gone to bury the bodies.

I tried to will my self to death the first two days after I awoke. I had lost my baby, my husband, my friend and all my material goods. I had nowhere to go. And no matter whether I was sleeping or awake, I kept hearing Beth's scream, the sound of her skull cracking, seeing Lloyd on fire, Tollis' decapitation, the rape.

Then a priest had come by to see me, to pray for me and with me. I so hated him on sight. Look what God had done to me and mine!

He was a smart priest. He didn't give any of that "God's Plan" bullshit. And that they were in a better place.

He just said I was alive for a reason. That I had better figure it out before throwing it away. And that I would be dishonoring Lloyd, Beth and Tollis, plus giving the murderer's another victory, by letting myself die.

That though I could never hope for a physical revenge, I could enact a spiritual one by living. And living well. You know the old saying "Living well is the best revenge." Well now I understood it also.

Father Gregory gave me money to get off Jessup 2, and got me a job on Polaris Station. I took back my maiden name, Cholena, just to be safe. 

I came here and existed if not lived. In time I made myself bury the memories. I knew that would be the only way to have any kind of life. That's why I wouldn't have any pictures of them or momentos even if any had survived. 

About six months ago I finally started having days where I wouldn't even think about it. But I can truly say I never had anything close to happiness until Jack and the rest of you came along.

I was just sort of drifting from day to day. Now I have a reason to put up with the shitty work, the crappy life. I haven't smiled or laughed so much in years!"

Riddick leaned his head back against the side of her bed. Silent as the thoughts ran through his head.

Even a hardened man such as himself was sickened at such depravity. Decapitation, immolation, rape, infanticide! And this one little woman had survived it relatively intact. Still with the capacity to care and give. 

It made him ashamed of himself. For a number of reasons.

First, he could have been one of those men, years down the line of course. But he knew that if Carolyn, Jack and Imam hadn't come along, he would have eventually ended up a cold hearted, ugly murderer. 

The only thing he was well trained for was killing. The piloting and demolition expertise he learned from the AFS came in handy, but the killing would've been his bread and butter. Even before getting sent to Slam City for killing an officer, he had felt himself growing colder and harder in his heart.

Secondly, starting out life in a liquor store trash bin, with a cord wrapped around his neck had ensured his life would begin shitty. But neither had he done anything to change it from becoming the hell it was. He thought about the umbilical cord around his infant neck, and then he thought of the determination and grief of Zar for her Beth. He had survived, Beth hadn't. 

Maybe, like Zar surviving the attack, there was a reason why he survived the trash bin abandonment, Slam City and Taurus 3.

The God he so hated, but so believed in, seemed to be leading him to something.

Could this woman, along with Jack and Imam be it?

He needed to think on it for a while.

In the meantime, he still had to help Zar. He believed she would improve now. The telling of the story would hopefully release the pent up anger, grief and pain. But one thing still nagged at him.

"Zar?"

"Hmmm...?" She sounded half-asleep. Probably exhausted from the emotional upheaval. She had turned her body into his slightly and now rested her cheek against this chest. 

"What brought all this on? Did someone, one of us, do something to remind you?"

"Unnh ah...I saw him today."

"Saw who?"

"Elson Brenner. He came into Polaris Station today while I was on duty."

Riddick's heart picked up with fear. 

"Did he see you?"

"Yes, but he didn't recognize me. He just gave me a once over and walked away. Richard?"

He had started to rub her shoulder as a soothing gesture both for her and himself.

"Yeah?"

"Will you stay with me tonight? I don't want to be alone. And I think you would keep the nightmares at bay."

He smiled in the darkness and touched his lips to the top of her head. Just like Jack. Big, bad Riddick to keep the big, bad nightmares away.

"Yeah. I'll stay. But we've got to get into bed. My ass is falling asleep."

He was rewarded with a soft chuckle and her lifting her face up to his in the darkness, aglow with a tender smile. She couldn't see him in the darkness, but he could see her. 

_What the hell, go for it!_

Leaning down, his lips barely brushed hers. For a man of strong sexual appetites, it was a surprisingly sexless kiss. Meant to reassure, not arouse. It was the first kiss of that type he had ever given, or received. It left him feeling vulnerable in a way he had never felt before. And he wasn't sure if he liked it.

He was grateful she didn't feel the need to fill the silence with words after the kiss. She just continued to stare up at him, or where she thought his face would be.

"Come on, let's get into bed. It's a lot softer than this floor."

She leaned away from him to stand. He found he missed her warmth and looked forward to joining her in bed.

He knew there would be no sex tonight. She was way too wounded. But he knew this woman would eventually be his lover. They had shared too much this night for things to go back to the way they were. He wanted her. Her strength, her inner beauty, her capacity for joy even when life had beat the shit out of her. He _would_ erase the memory of any other man who had touched her. Even Lloyd. He wanted to be in her world. He wanted to _be_ her world.

He put her in bed on the side against the wall. A protective gesture. If anything came through that door, it would have to go through him to get to her.

And as he wrapped his arms around her, felt her back against his chest, her bottom snuggled up against his stomach, he knew he had a mission. 

Elson Brenner was a dead man.


	6. 6

CHAPTER 6

Riddick came awake instantly, as he always did. His senses on alert. A conditioned response from his sorry ass life. 

It must be early morning judging from the amount of light in the room. It had no windows but the Envi System produced artificial light to mimic what a room would like if it had openings letting in natural light.

Zar was on her stomach facing away from him. Still in deep slumber.

Gently he turned onto his right side and lifted a lock of her hair.

Bringing it to his nose he inhaled softly. It brought back memories of another woman's hair he had sniffed. A woman who had changed his life in a very short period of time. Carolyn Fry had been one of the few people who had seen something in him other than the obvious. She hadn't judged him badly for his prison learned abilities. Rather she saw them as benefits for the situation they were in. She had relied on him and awoke in him the long dormant craving to be needed. 

On Taurus 2, when it seemed that she, along with Jack and Imam, would make it out of that hell, he had let himself dream of keeping her in his life. But, for whatever reason, it hadn't turned out that way. And though he had felt the pain and rage of losing her at the time, he hadn't dwelled on it. Too much had been taken from him over the years, dignity, comfort, food, and all the other shit that made a person happy, for him to dwell on things that might have been. He had learned early that if you wanted to survive, you let it go. The same lesson Zarifa Cholena had learned.

So maybe Carolyn Fry hadn't been destined to be in his life. Rather just change it. Maybe she had been there to make him malleable to the changes that were coming in the form of Zar and Jack and Imam.

His attention focused back on Zar as she stirred.

All soft woman feel and sounds and smell. 

"Good morning."

He felt her slight stiffening. Probably forgot he'd been in bed with her. But her body soon relaxed as she remembered who was with her.

Lifting her face and turning it towards him, she smiled sleepily. Some of the pain was gone from her eyes, though shadows still lingered.

"Good morning. You stayed. Thanks."

"Welcome. Better?"

She focused her eyes downward as she thought about his question. 

"Yes... as a matter of fact, it is. You were right. I needed to get it out. It had been festering for a long time. _Oh no! It's light out!_ I'm late for work!"

She made to scramble out of bed, but Riddick caught her around her waist and flipped her on her back, tucking her underneath him.

"Report off. I think you need to take a day off. I plan on doing the same."

Zar looked up into the face of the man looming above her. It was such a hard, strong face. Like the rest of his body that she felt cradle her from chest to toes. 

It felt... oh so many things lying there with him. Scary, exciting, comforting. Right.

And she realized she didn't want go into work today. She wanted to stay right where she was. As long as he stayed with her.

"O.K."

Riddick was mildly surprised she didn't put up more of a fight. But then he felt her heart beating wildly beneath his.

"You afraid of me!? This bringing back memories of the rape?" He didn't even try to pussyfoot around the issue. She'd been hiding behind pretty little words and lies long enough. Only the truth would desensitize her to the pain.

"Nooooo...not exactly. I mean...this isn't anything like what he did to me. And I know that what he did had everything to do with power and nothing to do with sex."  
"So what's the problem? Me? You know I'd never lay a hand on you in anger. "

And looking up into his milky eyes she read the truth of his statement. 

Bringing her hand up to his face she let her finger drift over his brow and nose and lips.

"Yes. I know that now."

Hours seemed to pass as they continued to stare at each other, enveloped in the warmth of the bed and each other.

Then Riddick slowly let a smile cross his face. Zar answered with one of her own.

And both brought their lips to the other for the kiss that had been a long time in coming.

She was amazed at the gentleness of his movements. She could feel his fierce erection against her leg and knew he was fighting against going too fast for her sake. Riddick didn't seem the type to finesse a woman in bed. Satisfy her? Oh definitely! But tender touches and a slow loving would not seem to be his _modus operandi._

But ahh...he was kissing her like she was made of glass. Moving his lips from hers to her cheek, her eyelids, her nose. Going back to her lips to take little nips of her. Asking, not demanding, that she open up to him.

And she did with a soft groan.

His tongue swooped in and lashed at hers. Here finally the passion and impatience in him came out. 

Zar welcomed it though. It meant he was as aroused for her as she was for him. 

And she was becoming out of control aroused. Running her hands up and down his naked back. Feeling the hard muscles move and flex. Reveling in the power that was Richard. Her heart beating wildly, no longer in fear, but in anticipation. Sensations of moisture and fullness were settling in the area between her legs. Her breasts tingling, the nipples hardening in impatience to feel his touch on them.

Breaking the kiss only for seconds to gather air, Riddick moved his hands down her torso.

He knew he should take it slower than he was, but need was roaring through his body. He would make it up to her later. Right now he needed to feel her, be in her.

Grabbing her shirt at the waist he slipped it over her head. But he didn't take it off. Rather he trapped her hands above her head with the shirt and one of his hands.

Her heaving, bra covered breasts now exposed to his gaze and touch. He could smell her arousal and was relieved. The fuckers hadn't stolen her ability to enjoy sex.

Slowly lowering his head he licked in between her breasts. Moving his lips over the fabric till they hovered over the raised nipple. Gently he took it in his mouth and bit firmly. 

His lips smiled around her nipple as he felt her rub her hips against his rock hard phallus in reaction.

Sucking deeply, he refused to release her struggling hands.

"Please! Let me touch you! I can't stand not touching you!"

"Mmmm...not yet. I think you can stand a bit more torture." Before moving his attention to the other nipple he reached under her back and unhooked her bra, shoving the material up towards her neck. Then returned to her small but pillowy breasts, sucking and biting with exquisite pressure.

The little growling sounds she was making in the back of her throat made him harder by the second, if that were possible.

He couldn't hold out much longer. But he knew she needed to be drenched before he could enter her. It had been a long time since her passage had been stretched and he was not a small man.

Lifting his head, he watched the tension mount in her face as he ran his hand down her side. At the gathered waistband of her pants he hooked his fingers in and dragged them down and off, pulling her panties with them. For all intents and purposes, she was totally naked and exposed to him.

Her rounded hips moved instinctively against his groin while her legs widened and her dark mound raised, sending a waft of her aroused essence up to his nose. Never had he smelled anything so precious in his life. 

It made him wonder how'd she taste.

He let her hands free and helped her remove the entangling shirt and bra. Her fingers instantly caught his face and brought it up to hers to be kissed.

Breaking it off after a long sip, his lips found the space between her breasts once again and licked downward towards her belly. Stopping at her navel he dipped his tongue and reached one hand up to lightly pinch a nipple.

Her entire midsection heaving along in time with her excited breathing, Zar could only moan deep in her throat.

She needed him in her now!

"Please...Richard! For pity sake, come into me now!"

"In a minute."

Even the sound of his ultra deep voice seemed to send her temperature up ten degrees.

"Unnnhhh... why not _now_???"

"Because I need to do something else."

"What?! You can't get me any more crazier than I am!"

His soft chuckle accompanied his reply. "We'll see about that."

Maneuvering his body down, he lowered his head over her thatch of dark, wispy hair and blew gently.

Zar gasped in delight and torment.

"Ready?"

"No! Yes!...I mean... oh God!"

"Look at me."

Her tightly closed eyes opened and fixed on his instantly. And widened as she saw his mouth descend till only the shaved top of his head showed. And then closed again in ecstasy as she felt his tongue touch her open and exposed core.

Giving soft little licks here and there, he had her writhing against the bed. Her knees raising in reaction, the heels digging into the mattress.

_She had to touch him!_

She caressed the only part of him she could reach...his head. 

Her stomach clenched as she felt the pleasure barreling towards her nerves. Sounds she would not have recognized emitted from her throat as he licked on and on. Going deeper in the crevice, opening her wider with his fingers, exposing her more to his tongue.

He knew it would take only one more touch to send her over the edge. And he wanted to watch her fall. 

Lifting his head he fixed his eyes on her face. All pink and white and cream and gray, he had no trouble making out her enraptured expression.

He touched her clitoris with one finger and circled firmly. And watched her come apart.

Her body convulsed with so much pleasure that she was sure she was dying. But ahhh...what a way to die! It seemed to go on forever. Toe curling, hands gripping the sheets, she rode the crest as it lashed her with intense bliss. Burning her over her entire body and brain.

Finally she was left totally boneless. A mass of satisfied flesh sinking into the bed. Lethargy called out to her, her body demanding rest after such an expenditure of energy.

But her nerves jumped nonetheless as she felt Richard lean to the side to aid in the removal of his shorts. Then he was back between her knees, spreading them wider with his hands. 

After a few short moments of nothing happening, she forced her eyelids open.

He was staring at her face, his hands still on her knees.

"My turn."

"Yesss....let me..." Her small hands reaching for his hardness, leading him to her soaked core and placing the head in the opening.

Gently he eased himself in to the hilt. 

_Home...._

The snug glove of her sex grasped him tightly, but she took him easily. He had prepared her well and she would have no discomfort with this joining.

Leaning forward he rested his on arms on either side of her face.

"O.K.?"

He didn't know where he found the strength to ask the question. His body was clamoring for relief to the point it was bordering on pain. But this would be the telling moment. Would his being in her body bring back the rape?

"Mmmmmm....wonderful."

He smiled down in her half-opened eyes. 

"Then hold on."

"I'm not letting go for anything in this world."

His hips moved forward and back. Repeating the movements again and again, picking up speed after each repetition. 

It wouldn't take long, he knew to reach his peak. He'd almost come on the bed when she'd climaxed on his finger.

He had only managed to hold back with the promise to himself that he would soon be in the body of this wonderful woman.

And now he knew the wait had been worth it. 

The pleasure was overwhelming him. Making him vulnerable to the touch of her hands on his back, buttocks and thighs. Urging him to go quicker, deeper and harder.

She watched his face as he had watched her. A sense of wonder that she could make this man, who so prided himself on his self-control, lose himself in her loving. 

He suddenly buried his face in the junction of her neck and shoulder, groaning, and she knew he was climaxing. His body wildly buffeting hers, all she could do was hold on to him tight and raise her legs to encircle his waist. Giving him access the deepest thrusts he so desperately needed.

His body shook with reaction and long after his seed had completely spilled, his hips kept moving on hers. It just felt too damn good to stop!

But finally fatigue worked its way into his consciousness and he rested lightly on her body.

Both covered in sweat and breathing heavily, they stayed as they were. Loathe to disturb the moment and let reality back in.

He felt her fingers moving over his back, tracing the scratch marks she had left. Her core still pulsed with little movements, giving light nips at his relaxed manhood.

Raising his head he looked into her sweaty but peaceful face. Eyes closed, she wore a smile of ultimate contentment. It mirrored the one on his own.

He whispered her name. "Zar?"

She wouldn't open her eyes. It felt too good to keep them closed. 

"Ummmmmm?"

Leaning down so that his deep voice would be right next to her ear he continued in whisper. "I can truly say, with no question at all....that you are, without a doubt....."

He had stopped, knowing her curiosity and need for confirmation that was the best sex he'd ever had, would make her open her eyes.

She rewarded him by doing that exactly. Lazily opening her eyes to stare into his.

".....that you are, without a doubt,...._not going into work today_."

"Ooohhhhhh! You stupid fucker!"

His laughter rang out in the room as he dodged the playfully thrown punch aimed at his head.


	7. 7

CHAPTER 7

Riddick sat in a bar totally misnamed Paradise. Misnamed because it was one the most hellish places he had ever seen. It was the fifth night in a row and he was beginning to feel the slime of the place was wearing off on him.

Dark and dirty, it pulsed with strobe lighting and piped in techno music. The lighting and music themselves weren't the problem, it was the patrons of the joint that made the establishment a pit.

Only three floors from the bottom of Polaris Station, it housed the lowliest of the lowlifes. Along with its sister bars, massage parlors, dope peddlers, flop houses and pawn shops. While the top floors of the station had the take-off/departure platforms where Zar worked, the loading docks where he was stationed and the housing and market places for the workers.

As the floors went down, so did the type of people who patronized them.

It had only taken him two days on the job to learn about these places. And he would've been a bare faced liar if he didn't admit to a certain yen for them. In a place like the Paradise he was in his element.

He was much more comfortable in a place where you were just as likely to be shivved as you were to get a drink. It was the warm and sheltered environments such as in Zar's apartment that he felt out of place. There was little danger of being killed in the rarefied air of a "family" scene, but there were other types of dangers that came into play.

Dangers such as having the cold core of steel that was his heart melt.

He knew the hazard first hand of that danger. Because it had happened to him. He felt something suspiciously like love for Zarifa Cholena. Every stubborn, caring, giving bone in her body. And it scared him more than any other situation he'd been in. Facing down death was easy shit compared to loving someone. At least with death you knew the torment would eventually end. 

But when you loved someone, you were in constant danger of them disappointing you, or worse, you disappointing them. 

Richard B. Riddick was a strong man. He knew he wouldn't be alive if the description didn't fit mentally as well as physically. But, in his more introspective moments, he found doubts assailing him concerning his strength in loving someone. Could he stand his ground when the going got tough? Because the going _always_ got tough sooner or later. 

__

Shit!

Probably why he didn't let himself get too introspective too often.

Because he ended up doing things like this.

Sitting in a horse-shit bar, watching degenerates dance and maul and drink and do every other kind of act the human race could do.

Waiting for his mark, Elson Brenner to show up. So that he could learn his habits and ghost his mother fucking ass.

He didn't believe Zar when she told him that Brenner hadn't recognized her. Oh, he had no doubt that _she_ had believed it. But he knew men like Elson Brenner. He had, after all, been one of them not so very long ago.

When you orchestrated a very messy, premeditated murderous rampage like the one Brenner had done on Zar's family, you didn't forget faces. They had a tendency to haunt you in your dreams. He had no doubt that Brenner had dreamed of Beth, Zar, Lloyd and Tollis at some time in his sorry ass life. Felt guilt about them? No...not by a long shot. But worry definitely entered the picture when you let yourself think about answering for your deeds at the moment of your death. It might be easy to affect nonchalance when you were on top, but everyone fell to death's hand sooner or later. And that was when the shit hit the fan.

You remembered the ones that would exact the highest price, the ones that would make Hell's flames that much hotter, that much excruciating. The Arnett family and Tollis were those ones for Elson Brenner. Riddick had no doubt. It would've been the same for him. In fact, if it hadn't been for Carolyn Fry, Jack, Imam and finally Zar, it would've _definitely_ been him. And even if Brenner hadn't been a threat to the woman he loved, he would've hated him for being a mirror of his own future. 

The mirror that Zar had finally shattered with one gentle kiss on his forehead. 

They'd been lovers for four weeks since that night. Sometimes he let himself dream that it would last. Then the reality that was Richard B. Riddick would intrude. Nothing good lasted in his life. He didn't even believe he deserved it after the life he'd led. The best he could do was enjoy it while it lasted.

They hadn't left her room all that first day except for him using the com screen to let both their bosses know they weren't coming in and a few trips to the bathroom. The first time he'd come out he'd been surprised that Jack and Imam had left the apartment. But then he realized they had probably heard he and Zar having very loud sex and decided discretion was the better part of valor. He was grateful for Zar's sake. He would've been able to bluff out any awkwardness, but he didn't think Zar would.

Lying in bed, Zar's head on his chest, warm and content for the first time in his life, he answered the many questions she asked about his life prior to knowing her. 

He told her his real name and his origins. At least what he knew of them. She cried when told how he was found, hours old, in liquor store trash bin with the umbilical cord around his neck. Named for the cop that had found him, he'd been in foster care all of his life. Never finding a family that wanted to keep him. At 16, big for his age, he had run away and joined the Alliance Security Forces. The family would only miss the money he brought in and the Alliance Security Forces. didn't get too picky about its fodder.

He excelled in hand to hand combat, demolitions and piloting. Transferred to the base at Triton Prime, he was sure he had found a home and living in the ASF. He even excelled in the "jobs" the ASF sent him on. 

Usually involving difficult miners or colonists, they were called missions just to cover up their true nature. To enforce the ASF's wishes. Already hardened by his tough early life, the missions and their violence further alienated him from his fellow man. He soon lost the ability to care about his actions or those of others. 

Every now and then though, he would fight back for his humanity. 

He always had a soft spot for kids. So when he caught the base commander in bed with a girl younger than Jack, instead of playing dumb like his brain was telling him too, he beat the shit out of him and sent the girl to her relatives. He knew the commander would have it out for him, but the type of attack that came at him surprised even him.

Awaking hours after being rendered unconscious by a Mickey slipped into his drink, he found himself in a strange room with an officer (that "witnesses" claimed he had a grudge against) hacked to pieces. It had been horrific. Pieces of body and brain and limbs and internal organs littered all around. And him with blood all over his clothes, on his face, dripping from his mouth. 

Still in shock, trying to remember what happened, the base security goons burst in and proceeded to beat the shit out of him. 

Thrown in a lightless cell, he hadn't even been allowed to attend his own trial. An "advocate" instead had represented his not guilty plea. That was of course soundly rejected by the tribunal. Sentenced to life in prison, he was sent to the Hubble Bay Penal Facility. 

It was the first of many. Damned if he was going to stay in a slam like a good little boy! 

HubFac underestimated him. It would be the last penal institution to do so. He had escaped with in five months. But freedom only lasted two. 

There had been a good size reward put on his head and every greedy cocksucker in the quadrant came sniffing after him. He hadn't gone back without a fight and guards had been killed. In very ugly ways. This was his life he was playing for and he played for keeps. 

Being deemed too incorrigible for Hubble, he'd been sent to Ribald S. Correctional Facility. Supposedly a more secure facility.

There he learned of his reputation proceeding him and the value of being known as a cold blooded killer. Soon the other inmates were either pissing at the sight of him, or challenging him for death matches. Matches the corrupt guards (were there any other kind?) organized and bet heavily on. 

That was when the recountings of his murder's became more and more embellished. It made for good press and encouraged the bettor's to up the ante. Soon he hadn't just killed a guard by slitting his throat, he'd carve his initials into the man's flesh. 

His personality also underwent a public relations transformation at the hands of the fight organizers. No longer a guy who was just the victim of his upbringing like so many of the other prisoners, he became a psychopath with almost superhuman strength, guile and cruelty.

It had taken almost two years to break out of that place. He was watched particularly well due to his value as a money making venture. But he just bided his time, knowing a guard would get careless. They always did.

But again an enormous bounty had been put on his head. And even worse, he'd been injured and hadn't been able to cover his tracks as well as he might have if healthy.

After his recapture it had been bye-bye to Ribald and hello to Tangiers Penal Colony – Slam City. The closest you could get to Hell and still be technically alive.

A place where the cells were in permanent darkness to help keep the prisoners from plotting. Or maybe they were dark just so that the administrators could get their jollies off the fear that pervaded the place. Whatever the reason, there was only the occasional flashlight of the guard or a red-lighted hallway to provide relief.

Every sick, twisted, depraved criminal that the ASF had captured was in that place. And he was fresh meat.

It had only taken one rape and one near death beating for him to learn that survival required he become a totally different man. So he did.

He worked on strengthening his body, his ability to withstand pain, his mind and it's ability to allow him to do things that would let him survive. 

And let himself descend to the soul killing depths of a cold-blooded killer. He became what he had been branded. A psychopathic killer.

He knew the darkness was his enemy and heard of a doctor in his section that had sodomized some little boy. He calculatedly saved the doctor from his third rape that day in exchange for the shine job on his eyes and twenty menthol cools. The darkness now became his ally.

Soon he gained a reputation for quick reflexes, brutality and other more intangible abilities that seemed not quite human. He became an expert on feeding on the fears of those weaker than him. He had especially profound effect of the many psychologists they had examine him. Particularly on the women doctors. Mixing a warped kind of charm with menace, the women's reaction ranged from outright fear to disgust. But always with tinge of "what if" showing in their eyes. Like pulling the tail of the tiger, they all seemed to want to experience the thrill of fucking a man who would as soon as kill them as bring them sexual pleasure. Some he even let have that thrill. Though intercourse is hardly what you'd call it. 

More like mating between two animals.

Other cons, thinking to cement their own position within the prison hierarchy, challenged him. And died for it. Each death added years to his sentence. And he came to yearn only for the outside world and all of its transient pleasures. 

Life to him involved only surviving day to day. And getting out of Slam City. An almost impossible act. For years he bided his time. Waiting for the tiniest opening in the security. It finally came, but it almost killed him. He managed to overpower a pilot on one of the supply ships that made weekly stops in Slam. He only planned on throwing the unconscious body out the door and down the step. But the pilot had only playing dead, and struck out at Riddick with a knife when he leaned down.

The knife had struck home and imbedded itself in Riddick's chest muscle. So close to his heart. But not close enough. 

Instead of killing him, or even slowing him down, it just pissed him off big time. Enraged he pulled the knife out of his body and buried in the eye socket of the pilot.

He was badly injured, but he'd done it! 

And had almost 1 year of freedom (if you call hiding and running all the time freedom) before the bounty hunter ? William J. Johns first caught up with him. He had got the best of Johns in their hit and run confrontations till Johns let his true nature start to show. Almost killed him a time or two. But still Johns kept coming.

He ambushed Riddick on some grubby mining asteroid as he was having sex with two girls in a bordello. Bursting in on the trio he blasted the girl giving Riddick the blow job right off the bed. Her head, or what was left of it, a glob of bone and flesh with no distinguishing features after the lips. 

Riddick, blinded by the blast of the gun, dove for the floor. He made it but was soon on his feet when he heard Johns threat to kill the other woman. That in itself probably wouldn't have brought him up, but the threat to kill the woman's kid, who had run in at the sound of the blast, had. Naked, rising with his hands up he saw the terrified face of the woman on one side of Johns, and the kid on the other. 

Johns just slowly smiled and beckoned him forward. He let him dress and then had the woman tie him up.

And then calmly pointed the rifle and blew the kid to hell. Just for the fucking joy of it. Right there he knew Johns was ten times the psycho "they" had made Riddick out to be. He told Zar how till his dying day, he would never forget the screams of the mother as she attacked Johns, who just as calmly pistol-whipped her unconscious. 

But he gave Johns credit. The bounty hunter had found Riddick's weak spot. Kids. And then he was on his way back to Slam on the transport ship Hunter-Gratzner.

He explained how he came to know Jack and Imam. The nightmare that had been Taurus 2 and it's murderous and cannibalistic inhabitants. The forty some people that had been on the ship at takeoff. The twelve who had survived the crash. The 3 sunned planet and the eclipse that only happened every twenty-two years, when it just happened to be twenty-two years since the last one. How the number kept dwindling from first an accidental shooting, then the creatures that only came out in the dark. Their razor sharp claws and teeth. Their lack of sight that was made up by their echo location skills. And finally the fight between he and Johns. 

The bounty hunter taking him back to Slam City at the time of the crash was a morphine addict with an ability to kill that rivaled Riddick's. Only his crimes were excused under the guise of bounty hunter. He and Riddick had been hunter and prey for so long there was even a sort of respect and admiration between the two. But when Johns had recommended sacrificing Jack to the creatures, Riddick drew the line and took him on. He knew it was either Johns or him at that point. He hadn't killed him, just wounded him and let the creatures do the rest.

He left nothing out. Including his attraction to Carolyn Fry, and his gratitude and grief at her sacrifice. She, who was so scared of dying on that planet, who had convinced him to go back for Jack and Imam when his own self-survival instinct told him to steal the flyer and leave them, had come back for him when the creature's had rushed him. There were almost tears in his silvery eyes as he told Zar about Carolyn being ripped from his arms. Her face a mask of shock as she was sped through the air to a certain death.

When he had finished, they made love again. 

The horror of his life seeming to bringing out unbeknownst depth's of tenderness in Zar. She wouldn't let him do a thing. But rather kissed, licked, sucked, bit and loved his body from her perch atop his hips. 

He felt the hot tears of her sympathetic pain fall on his chest as she rode him. And marveled at the woman who could go through so much hell, and still have the capacity to love a man most would run from. 

He vowed the moment before his climax, that she would never be subjected to that kind of hell ever again. He, Richard B. Riddick, would make sure of it.

So he sat in the dive, waiting for Brenner to show up. Knowing Brenner would be looking for Zar sooner or later. But the surprise would be on him, for Zar had a "Brenner" of her own. One who had done a damn sight more brutal killing than the original. 

He laughed to himself as he thought of a saying from a play by Shakespeare, only he added a twist of his own. _Hell hath no fury like a reformed killer._

He had asked questions around the area earlier in the week. It had been easy to find out about him. A man like Brenner had a reputation. And was too smug of a son of a bitch to be discreet about his activities. 

Riddick had learned what Brenner looked like and also that he was here waiting for an incoming of shipment of gypsomnite for a "consortium." Must be the same bastard's that sic'd Brenner on Zar's place on Jessup 3.

He found out which dive Brenner was staying in.

He also learned that Paradise was one of Brenner's favorite hangouts. 

He'd been there a little over an hour when Brenner showed up. 

Six inches shorter than Riddick and about fifty pounds lighter, he never the less exuded an aura of similar menace. He had long, dishwater blond hair that looked like it hadn't been washed in months. He wore it proudly, as if it was an anti-fashion statement.

Pale skinned with a serious five o'clock shadow, his eyes glowed blue fire with a essence of evil easily seen. 

He gave off an odor that to a man like Riddick, was as much a challenge to fight as a fist in the face would've been. 

And Riddick wanted to fight him at that moment. He felt his muscle's tensing in reaction. Warring with his common sense to not, a) bringing attention to himself for Jack, Imam and Zar's sake, and b) taking on an opponent unprepared. So he settled back down in his corner seat and watched his quarry instead.

He learned several very important things as he watched Brenner over the next two hours.

First, he had a good sense of self-control. He might be a brutal bastard, but he didn't act out his inclinations unless he was sure of a win. The bad asses that tried to start something with him went away unhappy. He wouldn't be easy to jerk around mentally.

Second, he didn't seem to have any amigos there with him. He sat alone the whole time. Just watching the action around him. That was a good thing. When Riddick went to do the deed, it meant less interference from any other assholes. The men who Zar had seen offload with him must've been business associates only.

Third, Brenner seemed to have the sixth sense most killers had. That he was being watched. He obviously felt Riddick's goggle hidden stare because he would jerk his head up from his drink occasionally and scan the surrounding scum intensely. But Riddick also knew how to blend in with scum, and Brenner never made him.

Fourth, he had perverse sexual tastes. The women gave him the eye aplenty alright. He had an aura of power and sensuality. But the few who had worked up the nerve to sit down with him usually left within minutes of any conversation. The emotions on their faces showing everything from disgust to downright terror.

And the fifth thing Riddick learned as he sat there watching the man who had murdered Beth Arnett was that he really, _really_, wanted to be the one to ghost him. But he tempered his impatience with the knowledge that soon he would be able to act. 

He learned as much as he could about Brenner and it was time to leave. Time to go back to the sweeter atmosphere he had somehow become addicted to. 

Making sure Brenner's attention was otherwise occupied, he slowly got up from his seat. Flowing like black smoke over the filthy floor, his animal grace and air of sexual danger attracting a number of inviting glances from the female populace of the bar as he passed. 

None of them even slowed his pace. What did stop him cold was the sight of Jack standing in the doorway. Looking for all intents and purposes like a Thanksgiving turkey ready for the plucking.

Fuck!

Slipping behind a pole he quietly made his around until he was behind her. 

Grabbing her arm he yanked, with none to gentle pressure, and she flew with him out of the doorway and against the outside wall.

"Hey!!! What the fuck...Let go you fucking cock Su....."

"Yeah...get real quiet kid. Get fucking silent if you know what's smart. "

He had kept his voice at the lowest possible decibel that could still be heard.

"Riddick I just... OUCH! Where we going?!"

She received no response and wouldn't have been able to hear even if she had. She was to busy trying to keep up with his long strides.

They had almost reached the doors to the lift when he pulled her into a side alley.

"Explain." Just the one word and she shivered in unease. She knew he was really pissed.

Swallowing past the lump in her throat, she lifted her eyes to his goggles.

"I came to meet you when you got off work. But you didn't see me and started going somewhere away from the apartment. I was...I was...afraid you were...leaving. That maybe me or Zar had pissed you off. So I followed you here. You've been in there over three hours and I was starting to get worried. I just thought I'd take a look around for you."

She had finished off the story almost in tears.

"First of all, neither you or Zar pissed me off. Second, I'm grown man. I don't need no kid keeper. Stay out of my shit. Third! Do you know what kind of scum is in there?! Do you know what they would've of done to you?! Fourth, I'm not leaving you. You're staying with me and Zar permanently. Unless you want to go with Imam when he leaves for New Mecca in a few days. But that's up to you. If you stay, remember this, _Don't pull this shit again Jack or so help me......"_

The relief that he wasn't abandoning her and Zar was only slightly tempered by his threat.

"Sorry. Zar's probably having kitten's by now huh?"

"Shit...I didn't even think of that. You know if she decides to punish you, it's deserved don't you?"  
Her sigh of regret almost made him feel sorry for her. Almost.

"Yeah, but couldn't you...?"

"Hell no! After the crap you put me through back there?! You're lucky I don't slap the shit out of you right here. Be glad Zar's the one you have to answer to. You'll get a sight more sympathy from her than me brat."

The more she saw how angry he was, a real quiet, scary angry at that, the more she was grateful it was Zar who would dish out the punishment.

"Let's go."

But Jack dug her heels in and glared at him.

"You cheating on Zar?!"

For a moment he was almost tempted to smile. This little piss ant was trying to take him to task for hurting her friend! She had guts, this one did. He only hoped he'd be around each time she put them on the line with some harebrained idea. Good thing he shaved his head bald because the little wench was turning him into an old man before his time.

The old Riddick would of read her the riot act, instead he settled for a sigh.

"No. I'm not messing around on Zar."

"Then what are..."

"None of your business kid. Zar trusts me. You could at least do the same."

"Oh sure, she trusts you. That's why she started crying when she smelled the perfume on your clothes last night."

Shit...the drunken whore who jumped uninvited onto his lap last night! He pushed her right off, but she had reeked of cheap cologne.

"Leave it go kid. I'll take care of Zar. Let's go."

Acquiescent now, Jack led the way. Riddick watching her back, both physically and emotionally. He could see the worry and tension in the set of her shoulders. 

__

She thinks I'm going to fuck it up. _Let's hope I didn't_. 

Gotta find someway of reassuring Zar without tipping her off. Damn, it was so much easier dealing with women when all you wanted to do was fuck'em.

"When we get home, go straight to your room. No eavesdropping. Understand? You got school tomorrow anyway don't you?"

"Yeah. It sucks." Actually her return to a classroom two weeks previously had been relatively easy. She had a really quick mind and the kids were easy to bullshit.

"Welcome to the real world brat."


	8. 8

CHAPTER 8

Sleeping on her stomach, as was her custom, she came half awake when the bed dipped.

"Richard? Where's Jack?!"

"Shhhh...she's fine. She came back with me."

She relaxed at his reassuring tone.

Then gasped as she felt his weight come down on her.

"You know you're the only one."

He knew about her suspicions! But how?!

"You've nothing to worry about."

She tried to turnover on to her back to see his face, but he wouldn't let her. His fingers moved the hair from her neck and started taking little nips of her neck and shoulders with his mouth. His erection rubbing against her bottom.

Suddenly his weight disappeared and the top sheets were ripped off the bed. Her nightgown thrown above her hips. Wearing no panties, the cooler air raised goose bumps on her exposed flesh. But they soon were replaced with fever as his hands began stroking hips. 

They moved then to her legs, all the way to her ankles. Then took their time coming back up. Taking the inside route until they reached the darkened area between her legs. Sending shivers of pleasure along her body to settle finally deep in her womanhood.

Abruptly his hands were on her hips again, grasping them and raising her to all fours.

The bed dipped again as he knelt behind her.

She held her breath, waiting for him to enter her.

Instead she felt his hands on her breasts. Kneading and pinching the nipples. Making her pant and throw her head back in passion. Not even realizing that she was pushing her bottom against his erection. Begging for the joining of their two bodies.

Roughly she was pulled off her hands and made to lean against his chest. His teeth nipping and sucking at her neck. His knees working their way between her legs, widening her stance. Opening her for his explorations.

His warm hands raising her nightgown over her head and throwing it on floor. 

Now she could feel the damp, velvety skin of his chest as it rubbed against her back. His heat seemed to transfer itself to her brain. Making her writhe in need and whimper in plea.

"No one! No one makes me want to do this like you."

His deep, gravelly voice added more heat to her overwrought senses. Sending her control spinning.

His hands cupped her breasts again, plucking and kneading. Soon they were moving flat palmed down her sides. Creating fiction with their light touch and direction.

They met at the apex of her thighs. Threading through the tuft that was wet and hot.

One finger found her pearl and lightly circled. Waves of pleasure making her pump her hips against his restraining hands.

Leaning her forward he entered smoothly. Felt the walls of her femininity brush against his pulsing flesh.

Bringing the backs of her thighs to rest on top of his legs, he rested her back against his chest. 

"Do you understand now Zar?"

"Umm...yes...the only one."

"Good. Because I'm not worth crying over."

She would've argued with him, but her mind was to busy trying to process the pleasure he was giving her.

His body started to drive into hers in long, deep strokes, while his fingers continued to play with her. The other hand traveled a slow, lazy path up her stomach till it captured her nipple.

Her body was alive with the pleasure. It rippled everywhere and nowhere at the same time. The strength of the man awed her. She was not a small woman, but he made her feel tiny, yet luscious. And when he sexed her like this? He made her feel cherished.

She was so very close now. She could feel herself hovering right on the edge. But she fought it not wanting this to come to an end.

But he was anxious for release also and so sought to bring her on. He knew she was close, that she just needed that one little push to go over the edge.

Giving the inside of her ear a quick stab of his tongue he whispered the one word he knew would send her.

"Come."

And she did. Loudly, strongly, deeply. Her body convulsed so hard that she nearly threw herself off their connection. But his hands kept her anchored and he held her safe as she rode out the overwhelming crest of pleasure and passion. 

Only when she relaxed against his chest did he move his hands to her hips. Letting his need for climax over take him. Pumping deeply into her body as he grunted his pleasure. Biting her shoulder when he finally spilled into her waiting body, sending paroxysm's of ecstasy through his.

For minutes afterward he couldn't have moved even if the whole of ASF came crashing in. 

Her whisper roused him from their now uncomfortable position.

"What you do to me."

Disengaging her from his body he laid her down next to him. Face to face. But she still couldn't bring her eyes to meet his.

"No Zar, it's what you've _done_ to me. I'm not very good at this romance shit. I don't have it in me. But take my word, if I ever feel the need to do this with any other woman, I'll give you the respect of letting you know first. Look at me."

Her eyes opened to stare into his whitish orbs.

"_You have my word_. For whatever it's worth."

Slowly bringing up her fingers to his face, she traced his lips.

"Everything, Richard. It means everything."

He looked into face and marveled at the emotions running through him. He had no idea how it had come to this. He would have bet a million credits that he was too far gone to ever be this kind of man.

A man who respected a woman, cared for a kid, had a friend in a holy man. And who was cared about in return. Again the feeling that it was too good to last lashed through his brain.

"Zar?"

"Hmm?" He could tell she was almost asleep.

"If something should happen to me...would you take care of Jack? Especially with Imam leaving."

Zar knew better than to fight him on his vision of the future. After hearing of his life before Polaris Station she guessed she couldn't blame him. But that didn't mean she had to give him up to death or recapture without a fight.

"Sure! But what makes you think anything's going to happen? Everyone thinks Richard B. Riddick is dead. The only people who know are your friends. As far as anyone else knows, your Richard Carolyn, hardworking family man."

But hardworking family man Richard Carolyn was plotting the murder of another human being. Though he didn't think Elson Brenner deserved the title. And sooner or later, everything Riddick touched turned to shit.

"I just want to make sure Jack's taken care of."

It was then that Zar started to get a bad feeling in her chest. It felt somewhat familiar to the feeling of dread she had experienced the day of the attack on Jessup 3. Richard was up to something, something that would probably end up in him getting himself killed.

"What's going on? First you stay out till the wee hours of the night. You come home smelling like a whore...and yes, before you try and get me off track, I believe you when you say I'm the only one. But it still doesn't change the fact that you smelled like a whore! And now you want me to take care of Jack in case of anything happening to you. What the hell are you planning? And drop it right now if it involves you leaving me, whether alive or dead!"

He could hear the rising fear and pain in her voice. But he couldn't give her the promise that she desperately needed. There was only one way he knew of handling a threat that was directed at those things that were important to him. Before those things important had only been breathing, eating, living another day. But now they included Jack and Imam, along with Zar. Especially Zar. 

The only way he knew how to deal with a threat was by taking it out of the picture before it could be realized. That meant killing. Pure and simple murder.

But he couldn't let her become a part of it. First she wouldn't condone it. Second, it would put in her harm's way. No, this was something no one else but him could do.

"Zar, relax! Nothing's going on. Ask Jack. She'll tell you where she found me. I just felt like going out to have a couple of drinks. It's been a long time since I've been able to relax and have a good time. We don't keep liquor here out of respect for Imam and I have some drinking to catch up on. Do you know how long it's been since I had a beer?"

He felt only mild discomfort at turning the guilt tactic around on her. But he was sure that it would shut her up quicker than anything else. And her was right.

"Oh...well...I guess I understand then. I would've been glad to go with you, you know."

His derisive chuckle was calculated to make her feel naive. 

"Honey, where I go to party you wouldn't have lasted a minute! The scum in there would've eaten you alive! I don't go in for any of those prissy bars. I'm not comfortable in there with all the pretty clothes and prettier people. Give me a good old fashioned hole in the wall. Don't I deserve a time, now and then, where I can just be myself?!"

Hoping to end the conversation there he turned his back on her. Pretending to try and sleep. Pretending to not feel her soft touch of apology on his naked back, asking for his arms to come around her once again in that soft gesture. Pretending not to hear her soft sobbing as she finally realized he wasn't giving in. 

Feeling more guilt in that one act of calculated cruelty he had committed over all others. 


	9. 9

CHAPTER 9

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Where did you find Richard that night you two came home together?"

Jack stopped the interactive game she was playing and took off the goggles it required. 

"Some place called the Paradise. It was a real dive! I didn't go all the way in though. No sooner I spotted him then he got up to leave. Why? You're not still mad at me are you?"

In the two weeks since the incident, Zar had been preoccupied, but not bitchy. She had seemed relieved that Jack had been with Riddick and not getting into serious trouble.

"No. No, that's not it at all."

Jack waited, knowing from the expression on Zar's face that she was still curious about that night. She figured Zar was worried about other women.

"You know he wasn't messing around in there with no skank. He was just sitting there, staring at some dude."

"What man?"

"Some scary looking creep. Real pale, spooky light eyes, kinda short. He had weird, dirty blonde hair. Kinda ropey, ya know, they call them something special...dear locks, dram locks..."

"Dread locks?"

"Yeah! That's it! Richard just kept staring at him. All intense like. I don't think sexually or anything like that... just...I don't know...like he trying to memorize him or something."

Zar had gone deathly pale and wide eyed.

"What's wrong? You don't think he's got the hots for some guy do you? 'Cause that ain't Riddick! 'Course I imagine he did his share of banging the 'ole behind in Slam. Everyone knows that's what goes on in those places. But I don't think he would do a man if he had a choice."

She started getting worried when Zar didn't respond, just continued to stare at her in one of those deer in headlight looks. She hoped Zar wasn't going to have another one of those weird episodes. That had been too freaky!

__

Elson Brenner! The stupid fuck was going after Elson Brenner!

She knew it! She knew he was up to something. He still made love to her, but it seemed he was pulling away emotionally. Preparing himself for something that was to come, or protecting her from a future only he seemed to see.

She had to do something! There was no way in Hell that she was going to let Richard go after him. It was too big a risk. Richard might think he was king of the psychokillers, but Brenner would put him to shame. 

In just knowing and loving him for the past six weeks she could see that he hadn't lost all his compassion for the human race. There were some he still cared about, such as Carolyn Fry, Jack, Imam and herself. 

Brenner on the other hand had no compassion in him whatsoever. Just look what he did to Beth! He would fight as dirty and as lethal as he could, where she didn't think Riddick had it in him to be that way totally anymore.

Maybe she was wrong. Maybe he hid the killer in his heart from her better than she could ever imagine. But she wasn't willing to take the chance. She'd lost one man to Brenner, God help her if she let another bleed for her!

Why the hell couldn't he have good enough alone?! And the answer hit her in the heart. Because he was protecting her! And revenging Beth. She'd seen how the description of Beth's death had affected him. It enraged him, shook him, royally pissed him off. All the emotions needed to bring out the psychokiller in him once again. She felt grateful that the man obviously loved her so much. But she would've given her right eye for that same man to care a little less. To have let sleeping dogs lie.

She had to do something to stop him. But after the fight the night of his and Jack's mutual return, and his increasing aloofness, she didn't think talking would do the trick. He was willing to throw away the chance of redemption that Carolyn Fry had died so brutally for. The chance he held in such precious value. But he was killer on a mission and as sure as she was of her name, she knew nothing would dissuade him.

_He would NOT throw away that chance of redemption for her! _Not if she had any breath left in her body to stop him. And then it blind sided her! The obvious answer.

"Jack? Do you think you could give me directions this Paradise? I've heard the guys at work talk about going there before, but I have no idea where it's at."

"Yeah, sure. But why do you want to go there? It's a really rough place. Riddick would shit a brick if he knew you went there."

"I know, I know! But it's important. I have to find the man he was staring at. He's going to do something really stupid Jack, and I can only think of one way to stop him. Please Jack! Help me!"  
"What are you talking about?"

Zar looked into the face of the teenager who worshipped Riddick. Should she take the chance that she'd want Riddick safe over being loyal to him? Yes, she had no choice. She would've preferred to enlisted Imam's help, but he was gone to New Mecca a week ago. Jack was her only option. And that meant telling her the truth.

She sighed as she sat on the couch next to Jack.

"Remember that...crying jag...I had a few weeks ago?"

"Remember it?! Hell yeah! You scared the fuck out of me and Imam. And Riddick too! The only other time I saw him that upset was when he came back to the skiff on Taurus 2, all tore up and without Carolyn."

The reminder of Carolyn's name made Zar flinch.

"Hey, I didn't mean to remind you of her. I mean, I know Riddick wanted her... I mean...he liked her...but...he's with you now! She's not exactly competition ya know!"

"No Jack, you have it all wrong. I'm GRATEFUL to Carolyn Fry. I wouldn't know any of you, most of all Richard if not for her. She and her sacrifice changed him into a man I can love. But he's about to throw away everything she did for him Jack. He turning himself back into that old Riddick. The one before Taurus 2. Unless I stop him. WE stop him."

Jack's eyes filled with tears at the sound of anguish in Zar's voice. She was getting real scared now. As scared as she had been on Taurus 2 when that _thing_ had attacked her.

"Why?! Why is he doing this? Doesn't he like being a normal human being."

"Oh sweetie, it has nothing to do with what he wants. He's going after that guy in a misguided attempt to protect me."

It was then she told the trembling Jack about her past. She left nothing out, not sparing the girl any of the gruesome details. She figured Jack had lived through some tough times of her own and deserved only straight honesty.

"He just crushed her head against the wall?! Then stepped on it?!"

"Yeah, just like that."

"No wonder Riddick wants him dead! But why don't you?"

"Because I don't want to lose another man to Brenner. Brenner can be ten times the killer Riddick was. You've seen the changes in him. Do you really think he's as lethal as Brenner anymore? Riddick might kill him, but Brenner will find a way, as sure as Hell, to take Riddick with him. 

I love him Jack! I don't want to lose him. And even if he lives and Brenner dies, he won't be the Riddick I love anymore. He'll be that man Johns was transporting back to Slam City. The psychokiller that everyone so feared and treated less than human. He will have thrown away that one shot at redemption that Carolyn died for. 

So I have to take matters into my own hands. This all started when Brenner came on board the station. He looked right at me, but I truly don't think he recognized me. Not only did he leave me for dead, it was four years and many victims ago. But Riddick obviously thinks otherwise. 

I have to kill Brenner myself."

"WHAT???!!! Are you fucking nuts??!!! It's not ok for Riddick to kill to protect you, but it's ok for you to kill for him? What kind of psychofuck thinking is that?! And, I'm sorry to be brutal about this, but you couldn't protect yourself the last time you dealt with Brenner. What makes you think you can do any better this time?"

Zar listened to Jacks words but refused to think about them too deeply.

"Because I'm not the same person I was four years ago. Brenner changed me for the worse, or better, depending on your point of view. Watching your friend, husband and baby die horrible deaths will do that to a person. You know that. Aren't you harder now after seeing Shazza die? You told me about your crappy life after the place you were staying in burned down. The things you had to do to survive. It made you stronger, more able and willing to do whatever needed to be done to protect you and yours."

"Yeah! But isn't that the same thing Riddick is doing for you?! Only now he's killing for the right reasons! To protect someone he loves rather than just for the joy of it, the need to do it to survive. And don't you want Brenner dead?"

Zar shook her head emphatically in the negative.

"NO! You don't get it! It's not the act itself that I'm so horrified about. It's the consequences that I'm terrified of! If I kill Brenner it will be on my conscious for the rest of my life. I might know that it has to be done, but I will always _know_ that I took another life in premeditated murder. I'll feel guilt!

"It's a lose / lose proposition for Riddick. Either Brenner will kill him, or he won't and if he lives through this with Brenner, _he won't feel guilty!_

He'll be right back to where he was before Taurus 2. He won't be the man we both love. He will no longer be able to love us! Do you really want that?"

She saw the terror on Jack's face grow as the truth sunk into her heart and brain. Riddick would be lost to them one way or another if he went after Brenner. Zar was right, they had to take out Brenner before Riddick did. It was the only way!

"O.K.! You're right! But how do we do it?"

"WE bullshit! This is totally on me kid! You've been through enough without adding murder onto it. And I don't want you hurt. If something happens to me, well, let's just say you'll have to be the one to pick up the pieces. If Brenner kills me before I kill him, Riddick will be unstoppable, the only chance he has from going ballistic will be to protect you. He won't want to leave you vulnerable and alone. Understand?"  
Jack slowly nodded her head. Her large eyes growing even bigger at the visions running through her head. Visions of Riddick and his reaction if Zar were to be killed.

"Yeah. I understand. But why don't we just try to find someone else to do Brenner?"

"Because it's my fault this mess got started in the first place. I should've kept my mouth shut. But I didn't, and it set off Riddick in the totally opposite direction he should be going in. Besides, murder is murder, my hands will be just as dirty.

Now where is this Paradise."

"It's on the third from the last level. Turn right off the elevators, then left at the second alley.

How you going to do it Zar? Shiv him? I know you hate guns."

Zar hadn't thought that far yet. She absolutely _loathed_ guns. But she wasn't proficient at knives like Riddick. And the part her of that was thinking logically knew she would have a much better chance if she ambushed him with a gun. It still left her feeling green around the gills. 

What a joke! Here she was, plotting the death of another human being, and she was worried about touching a gun! Maybe Brenner and his goons had done more damage then she realized. Maybe they had unhinged her in some way. If so, this seemed almost poetic.

"No, it doesn't matter how I feel about guns, it's the most logical choice. There's a guy at work who sells them. I'll get one from him when I go in tomorrow. Then it's just a matter of waiting till I see Brenner."

"Yeah, but to actually hang out in the Paradise? You're going to run into trouble or Riddick, or both!"

"I'll just have to hang out around the outside of the bar, stay low. Keep an eye out for a good opportunity. Hopefully it won't be too many night before I can...you know..."

"What about Riddick? He'll be wondering where you are after work? And he will know if something's up. You know him and his sixth sense for trouble."

"I'll just say I worked overtime."

"Oooohhhh...I don't know Zar, he _hates_ being lied to!"

"Well it's for his own good so he can just handle it!"

"O.K., O.K., don't bite my face off!"

Sighing, Zar realized she was taking out her fear and anger on Jack.

"I'm sorry Jack. Your just trying to make me see all the particulars. Thanks. I'll deal with the consequences later. I have to stay focused on killing Brenner for now. O.K.?"

"Yeah. I understand. Let's just hope Riddick does to."

"Amen."


	10. 10

CHAPTER 10

"You like getting raped so much the first time that you had to come get seconds?"

The deep, rough voice had whispered the ugly question right behind her left ear. Zar's heart almost ripped itself from her chest. 

Riddick! He'd found her. _Shit!_

Turning slowly to face him and his wrath, she was stopped by his unmerciful grip on her arm.

"Answer me Zar! What the fuck are you doing here?"

She swallowed convulsively, trying to get some spit in her mouth.

If Riddick hadn't been so angry he would've almost felt sorry for her. He had been following Brenner back to his place when he caught Zar's scent. At first he thought it might be on his own clothes, but he soon realized it was fresh. That's when he saw her. Doing a tolerable job of blending in with her dirty work jumper and hat pulled down low over her face. Her long hair hidden underneath the cap.

For all of two seconds he was at a total loss to explain her presence.

At first he thought she'd been following him. But then he realized she was ahead of him, not behind.

Then it hit him. She was tracking Brenner! The sneaky little bitch knew about his plans to ghost Brenner! Overtime his ass. Not only had she lied about her whereabouts, she also was trying to sabotage his plans. If she had been any other person she would've been dead, a shiv across the back.

He had to settle for putting the fear of Riddick in her instead.

So far he seemed to be doing a bang up job. He was halfway expecting her to make a run for it, she looked that terrified. Part of him was pissed that she thought he would hurt her, the other part didn't blame her. 

"Answer me! Why are you following Brenner?!"

He could see her mind working feverishly, trying to get past the fear of his reaction to see a way out.

Then he saw her wince as his grip became crueler.

He released her instantly. But she didn't have a chance to escape. She found her the side of her face flush up against the wall of the alley she'd been spying on Brenner in, his forearm imprinting itself on the back of her neck. Riddick's massive bulk pressing her whole body against the wall. She didn't think she'd be able to breathe if he pressed one iota closer.

"Save the lying Zar. Let me give the answer for you. You found out about my little trip to Paradise a few weeks ago from Jack, hmmm? Remind to beat that girl when we get back, won't you?"

"NO! YOU told me to have Jack confirm where you were that night of the fight! So don't blame her!"

"Ahhh...and in doing so found out from her that I had had my undivided attention on a man who sounded exactly like Elson Brenner, huh? And from there figured out I had little surprise for him?"

She couldn't nod with his imprisonment, all she could manage was a weak whisper of a "yes". 

"Trying to save me from myself Zar? What were you going to do? Kill him first?" He said with a laughing sneer in his voice. Then he saw her flinch.

"You've go to be kidding! YOU were going to try and ghost him before me?" He mind suddenly became aware of the gun in her jumper pocket grinding into his leg.

And the terror hit then. The sheer audacity of her trying to kill Brenner almost took his breath away. Visions of her lying dead, if she were lucky, flashed through his mind. Because he knew that when (not if) she failed, Brenner would make her previous rape and torture look like a simple tooth extraction in comparison to what he would do to her then. Instant death would've been a blessing.

He felt the cold sweat break out over his body. He imagined it's what Johns felt whenever a fiending came over him for his morphine and he got the shakes. The fear that what you so needed might not be available to you ever again.

"Why Zar?! Why? I told you I would take care of you. Killing Brenner is the only way you'll be safe!"

Tears were running down her face, but she didn't feel them. All she could see was a future without Richard. Either because he was dead, a reborn psychokiller, or simply because she had pushed him away with her unforgivable ( in his mind) scheming.

"I don't want to lose you! You've been so distant and cold. I knew something was going on. When Jack described the man you were watching in the Paradise, I knew you were after Brenner.

Brenner's ten time worse than you Richard! You might be able to kill him, but he'll take you with him! Or worse, you'll kill him, but you won't be you anymore. You'll be that creature that had to survive in Slam City. A psychokiller. Either way, I knew I was going to lose you somehow. And I _was not_ going to lose someone else I loved to Brenner! 

But most importantly, I'm not worth you throwing away your only chance at a normal life. The chance at redemption that Fry died to give you. I'm not worth that, Richard. I'm not! Beth's not! So I figured I could kill Brenner before you. Take him out the picture. I'd have the guilt for the rest of my life, but at least I'd have you. The _real_ you. Not the Richard B. Riddick, Slam City murderer."

Zar was sobbing by the time she was finished. Her body shaking against his, her eyes red with tears. 

He watched her face as she sobbed. And realized the overwhelming love she had for him. To risk her own soul, her own piece of mind. She was willing to do that for _HIM!_

And he'd almost thrown it away in his desire to protect her. Not even contemplating that he would lose her even if he saved her life. Because she would never know, after Brenner's murder, when or if he would turn back into Slam City Riddick. She never would be sure that he wouldn't turn on her.

It was too much for him and his head started spinning. Laying his fore head against the back of her head he could hear her sobs growing louder.

"Shhh...shhh baby! It's going to be O.K.! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I never even realized... I'll let it go. He's not worth destroying you over."

Turning her around to face him he started to press small kisses all over her face. Absorbing her tears, and hopefully her pain, with his lips.

"Well ain't that sweet! Two lovebirds cooing after a fight!"

_Brenner!_

Instantly he spun around, shiv in his hand, shielding Zar behind him.

He almost laughed at the irony of the situation. The old Riddick would have. But now he didn't. Now he feared that he wouldn't be able to keep Zar safe. He never felt less like laughing.

The only thing to do was play it off. Brenner hopefully didn't know that either one of them had been tracking him.

"Fuck off! This is a private conversation!" He used his best Riddick voice and flashed the shiv once or twice. Hoping it would make Brenner think twice.

But Brenner, like Riddick, smelled the fear in that alley. He wasn't going anywhere. 

"Oh no, I don't think so. You see, I've been told some big guy who always hides his eyes has been asking about me lately. Where I live, where I go to find my whores. You seem to fit his description just right. And this little lady has been following me ever since I left The Paradise. So you see, this is definitely _not_ a private conversation."

"You've got your head up your ass buddy. Me and the lady don't know you from shit."

As he bluffed Brenner, he felt Zar's trembling hand press the gun she'd been hiding into his back. His first instinct was that she was threatening him, but common sense took over within five seconds. She was offering him the gun. And acknowledging the seriousness of the situation. She was letting him know that she understood that he had no choice about killing Brenner now. Their lives depended on it.

He felt more comfortable with a shiv. It was his forte and choice method of fighting and killing. But that wasn't the problem. 

The fact that Brenner had a pulse pistol aimed at him was.

He had no doubt that Brenner would blast him before he even touched Zar's gun. Normally death held no fear to him. He had faced, sometimes even wished for it, too many times. But now his death meant leaving Zar at the mercy of the man she feared most. And with good reason.

"That so? Hmmm...well why don't you let the bitch come out from behind you then? Maybe she'll tell me what I need to know. I can be very persuasive when I need to be." The evil laugh that followed his words sent warning alarms blaring in Riddick's brain.

And they thought _he_ was a psychopath?!

"NOW!!!"

Riddick put his free hand back on Zar's hip, letting her know she was not to move an inch.

"Like I said...fuck off."

Zar closed her eyes in fear. _What the hell was Riddick up to! Was he deliberately trying to get them killed?!_

She was torn between doing what Brenner wanted, and not knowing if in doing so if she was hurting Riddick's chance at beating him.

Her decision was made moot by the quickly disappearing back of Riddick. 

As if in a trance, she saw him slowly descend to the ground, first on his knees, then to his face. Blood started to blossom on his back, above his left shoulder.

Horror at the sight woke her from her stupor. Brenner was forgotten as she knelt next to Riddick.

_"RICHARD!!!"_

"Ah yes, quite a handy little gadget, a hair-trigger silencer. Made this one myself. No gun should be without it. Makes a shiv as worthless as a piece of pussy."

As if from a place far away she heard his voice, but the words didn't register.

Riddick wasn't moving. His blood pouring out onto the street. Frantically she put a hand each over the entry and exit wounds. Trying to keep his precious life force with in his body.

Brenner stared with a smile down at the scene before him. If the piece of shit wasn't dead yet, he would be within minutes. He gaze focused on the woman. Already he was contemplating the fun he could have with her.

_No! It couldn't be! She was dead!_

But the horrified face bent close to the shit head erased his denial. The bitch from Jessup 3. The Arnett woman was alive!

Zar's panic for Riddick was painfully interrupted by her whole body being dragged upright by her hair.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Mrs. 'I don't know when to stay dead' Arnett? Looks like 'ole Tom didn't a very thorough job of fucking you to death a few years ago, did he?"

Zar stared into the face that had haunted her nightmares for the last four years. Images of Beth being bludgeoned, Lloyd set afire, Tollis being decapitated, Richard bleeding raced across her mind. All the rage and pain and fury obliterated the fear of being in the hands of the man who was intent in bringing her a long and painful death. 

She knew Richard was as good as dead, as was she.

But she'd be damned if she went out begging for mercy from the likes of Brenner!

As covertly as possible, she gathered all the moisture she had in her mouth onto the tip of her tongue.

And spit it into the Brenner's face. Smiling into his eyes. Daring him to kill her. Letting him know that she had no fear for him to feed on anymore. Death would be a welcome release for her now. She felt a brief twinge of regret of leaving Jack all alone, but it couldn't be helped. She would die in a way that Richard would've been proud of. Defiant, not debasing.

"For Beth and Lloyd and Tollis and Richard. But most of all, for me!"

She saw her death approaching in the enraged eyes of Elson Brenner. The desire to toy with her burned away by the overwhelming need to wipe the smile and triumph from her face.

Like looking into the eyes of a rattle snake, she slowly became transfixed by the evil in his gaze. Even when she felt his hand slowly release her hair, she couldn't break contact with the unholy light blazing from his blue eyes. The smile left her face, her brain replacing bitter triumph with numbness. Sensing the coming of unavoidable, great pain.

He backed away from her in jerky movements. Breathing heavy in his excitement.

Even knowing it was coming didn't stop the shock from his attack. He pushed her against the wall with a bone bruising punch to her chest.

Stars and pain exploded behind her eyes as the back of her head made contact with the wall. Dimly she felt something wet trickle down her the back of her neck. Blood she dully realized.

Closing her eyes against the dizziness of a concussion, she snapped them open when his hands closed around her throat and started squeezing.

Too faint from the blow to her head, she could only weakly claw at his hands. Vainly trying to kick at him at the same time.

Already having trouble breathing from the hit to the chest, her air seem to evaporate within seconds as his hands closed tighter and tighter.

A great black void seemed to be opening up beneath her. And suddenly she knew this was death.

Images and sounds of her life flashed before her dying eyes. Giving birth to Beth. Her laughter and smiles as she awoke each morning. Her marriage to Lloyd, her friendship with Tollis and Jack. Making love to Richard. She hoped she would see Beth and Richard and Lloyd and Tollis soon. It would be some amends for the horrible death that was encompassing her. 

Suddenly she couldn't fight the pull of the darkness anymore, and let it take her will it would, leaving the pain behind.


	11. 11

CHAPTER 11

From deep within him Riddick felt everything he had experienced in prison rise up in his throat.

Filling him with hate and rage and other emotions so dark that they ate at his very soul.

They forced his body to stop the spreading trauma of Brenner's bullet. Engorging his mind with the need to survive and hit back with all the cruelty it could endeavor. 

Laying face down on the street where Brenner had left him, his senses came back to him quickly. He smelled his own blood. And Zar's. He heard the sounds of choking and struggling, and fast approaching death.

Lastly his eyes snapped open and focused on the sight of Brenner strangling Zar to death.

The ragged wound to his shoulder forgotten, he was filled with a rage so encompassing that his vision turned red.

He picked up his shiv as he forced his weakened body to rise silently to it's feet. 

Ripping off his goggles, he let his night vision take over as he moved in behind Brenner.

The shiv felt like an extension of his hand as he raised it, then buried in Brenner's back, at the sweet spot to the left, fourth lumbar down, slowly slicing his spine and abdominal aorta in half. 

Brenner cried out in agony. His hands automatically dropping Zar's now limp body. 

He tried to swing around, face his attacker, but his body wasn't receiving his minds directives, there was no spinal connection to act as liaison.

Falling to his knees, he then toppled over to his side, into a puddle of his own blood.

There was no pain, but there was fear. Fear of death, and what came after for him. Fear of the man leaning over him, ready to whisper in his ear.

"_Tsk, tsk, tsk..._they always make the mistake of never making sure if I'm dead. That was your second mistake actually. Your first was in touching the Arnett's. Don'cha know that what goes around comes around? Have a nice eternity in Hell, and say "hello" to Johns for me will ya?"

Thirty seconds later Brenner was gone. His eyes staring sightlessly in terror at the coming horror that was to be his for eternity.

But Riddick was already looking at Zar. He knew he should go over to her. Make sure she was really dead. But he just couldn't make himself face it right now.

Maybe if he just held her head in his lap awhile. Not check for a pulse or anything, just hold her and remember what it felt like to hold a loving woman in his arms. Maybe that would help him face her death.

And his broken vow to protect her from Brenner.

Sitting with his back against the wall, he pulled her unresisting body to his. Laying her head on his thigh, brushing the hair from her dead white face.

_She's still warm. Won't last for long._

He knew he should get her body away from there. If Security came on the scene, they would confiscate her. And he would lose her forever to some crematorium. 

His own body cried out for medical attention.

But he just wanted to stay there with her for a little while longer. Holding her. Remembering her. Loving her.

He didn't cry. That ability had been pretty much wiped away from him. He didn't rage against the injustice of it all. Like he told himself before, he should've know that everything he touched turns to shit.

He just sat there, with her head on his lap, bleeding slowly to death, wishing he could go with her. But there was Jack.

So he allowed the shock to overwhelm him. And refused to live beyond that precise moment.

"_God no!!! Zar!"_

Jack hadn't been able to stay away. She knew tonight was the night that Zar planned on doing Brenner and she had had a funky feeling about it all day. Something was going to go right. She just knew it!

So about an hour after Zar left, she went looking or her, or Riddick. She figured if she found Riddick first, she would just tell him everything. It would ruin Zar's plan, but he could keep her safe at least.

She didn't know what led her down that particular alley, but something made her look in it. 

First she saw the bloody body of the man Riddick had been casing in The Paradise. Brenner.

Two seconds later she saw Riddick, but her relief at seeing him alive quickly passed when she saw the blood on his chest, the look of shock and despair on his face, Zar's head on his lap. Her deathly white face with grayish lips.

Kneeling in front of Riddick she started sobbing. 

"Oh no! It's not fair! Not Zar...fucking no!!!"

The pain was too oppressive, making her head too heavy to support her heaving shoulders. Her forehead fell until it rested on the side of Zar's face.

Rearing back in shock, her eyes widened in amazement.

"Oh my God! She's still warm Riddick! She's not dead! Let me feel for her pulse!"

Riddick slowly came back from the far away place he'd been inhabiting in his shock.

Watching incredulously, he saw Jack put two fingers to the side of Zar's neck.

"She's alive Riddick!!! We got to get her to the med-tech's right away."

Jack jumped to her feet in anticipation of helping Riddick to his.

But he continued to stare down in disbelief at Zar's face. 

"Riddick! Snap out of it! She's not dead now, but she will be if we don't get her help soon!"

Slowly he raised his face to Jack's. 

"She's not dead?!" he whispered.

Jack was humbled by the complete look of joy and wonderment on Riddick's pale face.

Squatting down next to him she tried to console him with the truth that he was having such a hard time believing.

"Yeah," she whispered back, "..she's alive. Come on, I'll help you up. You need to get out of this alley. Security can't find you here. I'll call them and the med-tech's. Tell them about Brenner's and Zar's past dealings with each other. They'll put it down to justifiable homicide. Hell, they'll probably give her a medal!

Shit, you're covered in blood! You can't go in the streets like that. Here, put my jacket over your back, cross your arms over your chest. That's it. O.K.

Go straight to the apartment! Get a taxi transport if you have too. It'll be quicker. I'll call you as soon as I get to the med-tech's station with Zar. Are you going to be O.K.?" 

Swaying slightly on his feet, he looked down at Zar's face where he had gently lowered it to the ground.

"Yeah. Just take care of her Jack. Please."

"Don't worry Riddick, I will. I won't let her leave us."


	12. 12

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 12

She still slept with one of his dirty shirts. It smelled of him, his sweat, his strength, his own personal aroma. The scent triggered the dreams she had of him at night. Welcome dreams. At least there she could touch him, taste him, love him.

In the seven months since Zarifa Cholena had last seen Richard Riddick his hold on her heart had not lessened at all. It had grown stronger in fact. This despite the fact that she had had no contact with him whatsoever.

She knew he was still on the station. 

She caught glimpses of him watching her. She'd be working or on everyday errands when the hair on the back of her neck would rise. That's when she knew he was around. 

The first few times she tried to run him to ground, but he always slipped away.

She stopped chasing him then, and just settled for looking at him, saving the memory of him to help her get through the long and lonely nights. So badly she wanted to ask him why he never came home. Why he had rejected her and Jack and the new life they could give him.

She still kept a piece of hope in her heart that he would step through her door one day. That's why she never changed the authorization on the apartments voice activated lock.

But as far as she could tell, he'd only been home once. To retrieve some of his clothing and other personal items. That had been two months after the attack and she still remembered walking through the door and smelling his scent. She had raced through the apartment with joy. Sure that he had conquered whatever demons that kept him away. But she had felt the desolation of disappointment when she found the place empty of Riddick.

She knew then that he wouldn't be coming back. Ever.

Awaking in a hospital bed a day after the attack by Elson Brenner, the first words out of her mouth had been inquiries about Riddick.

Jack had kept a bedside vigil and was there when she came to. But she couldn't give Zar any answers other than to say that he was alive. He hadn't been by to see her or Zar. Which mightily confused Jack because of how she'd found him with Zar.

She explained that he seemed almost broken apart holding, what he thought was a dead Zar's head in his lap. His joy, the first Jack had ever seen from him, at the realization that Zar was still alive. Jack thought for sure that Riddick would've been glued to Zar's bedside. There'd been no answer at the apartment when she tried to call him. Yeah, it might've taken him a few hours to clean – up so as not to attract undo attention, but she didn't think anything could've kept him away from making sure Zar was okay.

Zar had tried to reassure Jack that Riddick must've thought it safer to wait for them at home. But she knew from the dread that was fast spreading through her that something was wrong. The ultra sensitive connection she had with Riddick was being overwhelmed with a fast approaching panic. Panic at the truth that something was irrevocably broken. 

She had held her breath as three days later Jack helped her through the door of the apartment. An empty apartment.

Jack nervously stalked all the rooms, all the time mumbling something about he'd be home by night.

But he wasn't. 

And Zar had to handle her own tears as well as Jacks. 

The poor thing had gone from extreme grief to terror of being abandoned to finally anger. All within a space of a few days.

Zar had only been able to help with the abandonment issue. Reassuring her that Jack would always be welcome to stay. In fact she needed Jack to stay. She didn't think she could take losing the both of them.

Jack had tearfully hugged her, careful of her still sore body. 

A new bond had been forged between the experienced woman and the woman-child. 

They became the sisters in spirit that neither had had in blood.

They helped each cope with a life without Riddick.

Zar had turned her emotions inward. After all she'd been through tragedy and loss before. 

Jack had acted out her anger and grief by being a royal pain in the ass at school. Zar had been called down to the administrators office six times in one month. The offenses had ranged from being disrespectful to the teacher (no...not Jack!), to starting food fights, to not doing assignments to finally skipping classes altogether.

Zar had sat Jack down and gave her a strong talking to. But the whole time she was lambasting her, she kept cursing Riddick in the back of her mind. For not being there when Jack so needed him and for being the reason that Jack was acting out.

It scared her when she found out Jack was out exploring the station while Zar was at work. The kid had a horrible track record of being on her own. She had been lucky to find Riddick and Imam, and later Zar, when the chips were down before. But Zar didn't know how long that luck would last.

But she knew what the girl was doing. Or at least she thought she did. She went looking for Riddick. Not that she blamed her. Zar was tempted to do the same thing.

But once she accepted the fact that Riddick was gone, she swore to herself that she'd be damned if went begging after him like some puppy. She sure as hell didn't want any man who didn't want her.

But that didn't stop her from running her eyes over him greedily whenever he made his sneaky visit's. In her quieter moments she even knew that she'd take him back, no questions asked. 

It felt like she'd been living on half–air for the last seven months. Never really taking a full breath. Afraid to for fear of the tears starting again.

She thought she'd convinced Jack to stop the useless questing for Riddick, if for no other reason than to reinstate Zar's peace of mind.

But she had the sensation that Jack had agreed to her face, and just got smarter about the prowling around. She knew she had to let her find her own course. The only other option open to her would've been tying her up. And that was impractical as well as a guarantee of automatic failure.

Zar almost hoped Jack found Riddick. Found and confronted him about his quittance of them. Maybe when he rejected her to her face she would accept it for the permanent state of life he obviously wanted it to be. It would kill whatever dreams that still kept Jack loving Riddick, but it would make her move on in her life. Maybe even allow her to think of something other that Riddick.

The one thing that totally confused Zar were Riddick's continued surreptitious visits.

What was he doing? Why was he watching her?

Riddick himself couldn't have answered the questions. 

He just knew the urge to see her would become so overwhelming that he found his legs moving toward her work area or apartment of their own volition. 

He also slept with a piece of Zar's clothing. A bra he'd taken (stolen) when he'd gone back for his things. It bore the marks of her sweat and perfume and so many memories that he would find hours had passed as he sat holding the bra to his nose.

He knew he was a giant coward for leaving without telling them. 

But he also knew that leaving the best thing for them. And he wouldn't have been able to do it with them there. There wasn't that much spiritual strength in the world. 

He knew as he had made his way out of that alley that held the bodies of the dead Brenner, the seriously wounded Zar and the scared Jack, that Zar had been right. Killing Brenner had brought all of the killing instincts back out in him. A condition he was beginning to accept as his natural state.

He didn't know how safe it would be to be around people he cared about. He suspected that if the situation was do or die, he would sacrifice them to save his own skin. Before coming to Polaris he wouldn't have worried about it. If Riddick had to kill someone, even someone he liked, to save his hide, then that was just the rule of the jungle. It wouldn't have even have merited a second thought. 

But now it mattered. It mattered a lot. For better or worse, it mattered more than his own happiness.

Maybe that was why he still kept an eye on Zar and Jack. He still wanted to protect them, even if it was only from himself.

It was just past six in the morning and the lights were just beginning to lighten the room.

He rested his weight on his palms as he leaned them on the dresser-mirror combo in his room. Actually it was Elson Brenner's room. He'd just taken it over. It was in the seediest part of Polaris Station and he figured, rightly, that the landlord wouldn't care who occupied it, as long as the rent kept coming. 

He hadn't originally planned on taking over Brenner's digs. He'd gone just to go through his stuff to make sure there were no messages or contingencies if Brenner didn't make it back to his bosses. 

But sitting on the bed, rifling through the pathetic mess that was Brenner's life, he had come to the realization that he himself could not go home. Ever.

Since the killer was loose in him again, he might as well take over the living space of a killer. It served a more deeper purpose than just practicality. Every time he came back to the one room, squalid piece of shit that he called home, he remembered why he couldn't go back to Zar and Jack. It kept the wound fresh. Better he bleed than them.

But looking at himself in the mirror, goggles off, bare chest a pale slab in the dim light, milky eyes balefully staring back, he let himself wonder what his life would be like if he had stayed with Zar.

He could almost feel her in their bed, spread out and tangled in the covers. Smelling of her own personal woman's scent. Soft skin and comforting plumpness wrapping around his own hardened body and long limbs in sleep. Putting her faith in him to keep the demons of sleep from her vulnerable heart. 

A soft smile spread across his face as he let the fantasy rule the moment. But it was ruined quickly by the sound of snores coming from his own bed. The whore he had picked up the previous night was going at it like she'd never slept before.

He wanted to kill her for ruining the fantasy. But he restrained himself...barely.

It didn't mean he had to put up with her presence any more than he had. He hadn't even meant to let her sleep there with him. But she looked vaguely like Zar, and he'd been exhausted from working a double at the Paradise. In the end, he just hadn't been able to kick her out. 

This morning he wished he had. She was too glaring a reminder at what he had lost, what he would never have again.

Putting on his goggles as he walked over to the side of the bed, he bent down and roughly shook her awake.

"Come on! You gotta get out of here. It's morning."

The whore, he thought her name was Lossa, stirred slowly. 

"Mmmm...come on love, let me sleep a little longer."

"No! Get up and get out! NOW!"

Raising his voice didn't seem to have any effect on her. 

Fuck it! He wasn't in the mood to play nice.

Grabbing her arm he hauled her out of the bed.

"Hey! What's the fucking idea?!"

"You're leaving, that's what the fucking idea is! Get dressed and be outta here by the time I get out of the bathroom."

He hadn't raised his voice this time. Just said in his deep, menacing prison voice that always let whoever he was talking too know that now was not the time to fuck with him.

The message got through to Lossa. She knew when to let it go. She wouldn't have been able to survive this long otherwise. Disappointment still found it's way through her mind. She worked with Riddick, whom she knew as Richard Carolyn, in the Paradise. He was a bouncer, she a barmaid that made extra money on the side with prostitution. 

She'd been eyeing him for the last four months. She had always been attracted to the rough and dangerous type. Probably why she was in the life she was in. 

She'd ignored all the warnings the other girls at the bar had given her. That Riddick was a loose cannon, a death-wisher. That he a nasty habit of settling bar room brawls with a shiv and some fancy cutting. All the while never breaking a sweat, a smile or a sneer. She'd thrown her best lines his way, and up until last night, he'd never even given her a "hello." 

Then suddenly, as the bar was closing, he came up behind her, threw some credits on the bar in front of her and told her to "let's go."

He hadn't even waited to see if she followed him as he turned to leave the bar. It had kind of irritated her, but not so much that she was going to turn him down. 

Once they made it to his rooms, she didn't know what to expect. She figured they would maybe have a few drinks, then get cozy in bed. 

Instead, as soon as the door had closed, he told her to strip and get into bed. He was already in the process of taking off his own clothes and hadn't even bothered to put on the light.

"Can we have some light please?! I can't see my ass from a whole in the ground."

"Whatever." He hadn't seemed to interested in making this a long experience. But he did call out "Low lights."

_Jeeesh! What a romantic!_

As she continued with undressing, slow and sexy like she thought, she saw him pull the top sheet to the bottom of the bed. He hadn't taken the goggles off. For some reason, that had bothered her more than any of the other callous actions he had so far committed. She might be a whore, but she also deserved to be treated like a human being. 

"Take the goggles off. I like to see who's screwing me."

His back still to her as he fixed the sheets, he only slightly turned his head in her direction. His outline was sexy but scary at the same time. 

She knew she had pissed him off, but she couldn't decide whether to be more scared or more aroused as she gazed at his naked back. 

He had long legs and broad shoulders, both well muscled. Just like his back. And his skin was smooth, even his rounded, tight ass. Well it was smooth in the places not marred by white scars. It looked like Riddick was as good at receiving wounds as he was at giving them. The one on his left shoulder looked new, less than a year old from her guess. She gained a little more respect for a man who could survive such wounds. The fear gained over the arousal just a bit. 

"Fine, then get out. And leave the credits."

She hadn't expected that! Let him keep his fucking goggles if they were that important. She just wanted to get it over with at this point.

"Okay! Okay! Never mind then. Whatever you want love."

"I'm not your love. Just get into bed."

Lossa had quickly shed the remainder of her clothing and did as he asked.

She wasn't sure what to expect from that point on. She hoped he wasn't into S&M. That just wasn't her thing. Plain old screwing was all she ever got into.

She realized quick enough that she needn't have worried. Riddick knelt between her thighs, spreading them and placing himself at her entrance. 

He knew it wouldn't take long. There had only been one other time after Zar. When the need had been too great and the offer too easy to take. But it had left a bad taste in his mouth. Zar was still too much in his mind. That had been three months ago. 

Since then he'd been satisfied with do it yourselfers, usually after waking up from a dream about him and Zar making love. But that night he'd been strung too tight, and he knew what he needed. A quick fuck, no talking or any other niceties. So he figured Lossa would be the one to get it from. He knew she tricked on the side, and had the hots for him. And she looked a little like Zar with her plumpish figure and the same shade of blue eyes.

The coupling was rough and brutal. Just the way Lossa liked it. He pounded into her time after time. Too involved in attaining his own pleasure for the first moans to penetrated his thoughts. 

When they finally did, he immediately stopped. He figured some of Zar's Richard was still in there somewhere, because he found he wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea of hurting Lossa.

"NO! Don't stop...for fuck sake don't stop!"

Well so much for being considerate. Seemed Lossa gal liked hard and rough just fine. He'd be happy to oblige her. Not that he cared whether she got off or not, but if she came along with him, good for her.

He redoubled his thrusting. Even reaching down and grabbing her legs to rest on his shoulders. His dick going even deeper into her soaked womanhood. When he first came to live with Zar he had fantasized about doing her this way. But when they finally had become lovers, he been afraid of being too rough with her. Maybe even disgusting her.

There were no such qualms with Lossa. 

In fact, if she wasn't acting, trying to get a better tip, he would swear she was going to break the bed. Her nails dug into his back while she growled and moaned her pleasure. Soon she was screaming as her climax overtook her, arching her neck back, slamming her pelvis against his.

Riddick followed her seconds later. Though his crisis was less spectacular. He just felt a few lashes of pleasure and a large amount of relief. And an overwhelming exhaustion. So strong he barely made it out of Lossa and onto the bed next to her before falling asleep.

This morning he wished he had stayed awake a little longer. At least long enough to have made Lossa get out. He just didn't have it in him this morning to deal with her or the whining. 

As he made his way into the bathroom, feeling her eyes on his naked back, he hoped she'd be wise enough to take his warning. Because Zar look alike or not, her ass would be forcibly removed if it still occupied his rooms.

Unfortunately, Lossa wasn't that smart. Because a half hour later he saw her sitting fully dressed on the made bed.

Stopping stock still, hoping to get a handle of his fast rising anger, he stared at her through the goggles. 

She just sat there smiling at him. Blithely unaware of how close she was to pushing him beyond his normal code of not hitting women. Not unless it served his purpose. Hitting Lossa out of anger did not serve a purpose, though he guessed it would reinforce his self-loathing. Something he needed to do to keep himself from going back to Zar and Jack.

"What part of 'Get Out' didn't you get?"

"Ah come on love, take me out to breakfast. I was good to you last night wasn't I? I can't help it if you woke up on the wrong side of the bed can I?"

Lossa was obviously hoping to turn a one night bang into a long term affair, or at least an understanding. 

Riddick couldn't help it. A derisive laugh boomed from his chest.

Lossa stopped smiling at that laugh. She knew what it meant. Time to cut her losses and get out.

"Fine! Just don't think I'll let you have a piece of my tail ever again. Ungrateful bastard."

He watched as she huffily gathered her purse and keys and made for the front door.

Figuring he had finally got rid of her he turned toward the small kitchenette.

"Oh so that's how it is huh? Go for the little girls do ya? Save the rough stuff for the women who can handle it and save the sick stuff for the teeny boppers. Ungrateful, _sick,_ bastard! I'm outta here! You should be too honey! Something's just not right with him!"

Now what the hell was she blabbering about?

Turning around with every intention of physically forcing her out of the room, he stopped dead at the sight that met him.

Lossa was gone. But in her place stood someone else. 

She slowly moved into the room, the door automatically closing behind her.

Her face showed her emotions completely. Fear, anger, pain and uncertainty mixed with a little joy at seeing his beloved face once again.

She looked thinner, paler. And he wondered if Zar fared the same. 

He didn't have the faintest idea of where to start. Her being here was not a good idea. For either of them. It just dredged up bad memories, and lost hopes.

"Jack, you need to leave. Right now!"

"I will in a minute Riddick. Just answer one thing for me. What did Zar and me do that was so bad you had to leave us like that?"


	13. 13

CHAPTER 13

Jack stared at the man who had made and broken her world.

He looked tired. And older.

All her sorry existence she had looked for someone to protect her from the ugliness and sickness that was life. She thought she had found that in Richard B. Riddick. A man whose soul was supposedly uglier and more sick than life. 

When she had first learned about him after the crash of the Hunter-Gratzner, she had felt only fear. But after overhearing the others talk about his crimes, seeing their fear and healthy respect of his abilities, she realized that here was someone who could teach her everything she wanted to know about survival. 

No more Jack the slave. Jack the weakling. Jack the unlucky. She would be one bad mother fucker...just like Riddick. So she watched and imitated him. Soaking up his personality, making him a hero as only a teenager can do. And it gave her courage to deal with the crash.

The courage had lasted until Shazza's brutal death. Not that Jack hadn't seen her fair share of death before. Hell, her life had been one long funeral it seemed like. It was HOW Shazza had died that put the fatal crack in her shell. Screaming and bloody. A victim of an animal that you couldn't reason with, con, outsmart or outrun. 

That had terrified Jack. Always before she'd been able to beat death by finding it's weakness. But the creatures on Taurus 2 had only one weakness, light. And when light got into short supply, there was nothing to stop them from doing what nature intended them to do. No amount of bullshitting or fighting or screaming or running could alter their course. And with out those advantages, Jack knew she'd be an easy target. Especially since she was menstruating, giving off the blood scent the creatures gravitated towards.

But then there was Riddick. Saving her from Johns cold blooded plan to use her as chum to keep the creatures off the rest of the groups back. Telling her not to waste her tears on the creep. Saving her from an attack by one of the creatures. Finding them shelter in the rock face. Coming back, albeit with a crap load of persuasion from Fry, for her and Imam. Getting them to the safety of Polaris Station, staying with them even after Zar took them in. 

Jack had been overjoyed when Zar and Riddick had become involved. It meant Riddick would stay around. It meant having a family, not of blood, but of something even more important. Caring.

But then Riddick couldn't seem to leave well enough alone. He had to go after Elson Brenner. For no good fucking reason! Well, maybe a good reason, but he still didn't have to DO it. Zar hadn't asked him. Brenner probably would have moved on, none the wiser, sooner or later. 

But no, Riddick had to be the bad ass and set her world on fire. Burning it down to the rubble she woke up in each day.

Not that she wasn't grateful for Zar. She was. Every fucking day of her life she was glad Zar had kept her. And though Zar was a strong woman, she had her weaknesses like everyone. Therefore she wasn't the one Jack could have total confidence in. 

Only Riddick could be that person. The one who would always know what to do, where to go, how to fight the inevitable crap that always found it's way into her life. 

Then he'd abandoned her. It was just so fucking unfair!

Riddick watched the emotions flow across Jack's face. He tried to maintain impassivity, but he felt his prison face slipping. Turning his back to her, he went to a dresser, pulling out a shirt and putting it on. He needed the time away from her accusing eyes to get a grip on his quickly rising emotions.

He knew the only way he was going to get her out of his life was to convince her, once and for all, that he didn't want anything to do with her or Zar. It was the best for the both of them. Be cruel to be kind. He gave himself a small laugh inwardly. Being cruel was a natural for him, but doing it to be kind was truly a first.

Keeping his back to her, deliberately disrespecting her, he started the job that would drive her away forever.

"Listen kid, you didn't really think I was going to baby-sit your pathetic ass forever did ya? I did more than most would. I got you to someone who actually wants you. You should be down on your knees thanking me. Not giving me crap!"

Jack felt his words slash across her heart. All the camaraderie that she and Riddick had shared through the ordeal on Taurus evaporating.

"What about Zar?"

"What about her?"

"You telling me you went after her family's killer just for the hell of it? You have to care something about her to do that kinda thing!"

Riddick was impressed with Jack's logic. She wasn't going to be easy to get rid of. Mentally he stiffened his resolve to do what he had to do to sever any kind feelings Jack had for him.

"Ha! Zar was a decent fuck. And yeah, as much as I'm capable of, I liked her well enough. But after I ghosted Brenner, I remembered how much I miss this life. I don't need no emotionally weak woman dragging me down. Trying to make me into some sort of working slob with family responsibilities. You too! I'm not your daddy Jack! Get over it!"

He knew he done a fine damn job of wiping out all tender feelings Jack had for him. He'd hoped he made her enraged, it would help with the feeling of isolation and desolation she had to be going through. 

He knew he'd succeeded when he felt her move up behind him.

She was going to attack him. 

He could've stopped her with his lightening quick reflexes, but he figured she deserved to get a few good licks in.

She was sobbing and yelling every obscenity she knew as she punched and kicked at his back and legs. 

Of course she wasn't hurting him. Her blows like the dashing of insects against a windshield. It hurt the insect a hell of lot more than the windshield. His body was too desensitized to pain to notice some skinny kids puny efforts to inflict harm. What did hurt was the emotional devastation rolling off her in waves.

He felt them as if they had a physical presence. And he knew an almost irrepressible urge to turn around and take her in his arms. Soothe all the hurt he'd done to her heart. Tell her that he was sorry and that everything was going to be okay.

But everything was not going to be okay. Not as things stood with him now. He was already feeling the old Riddick's impatience boiling up in him to get all this hokey emotional shit over with. 

As they were escaping Taurus 2, he had told Jack and Imam to tell whoever they ran into that Richard Riddick had died on that planet. And at the time he had believed it. That the psychokiller in him had expired under the weight of unselfish actions of Carolyn Fry's sacrifice. She had died for him. FOR HIM! No one had ever done anything for him. Except to give him more fucking grief. But when she had come back for him, refusing to leave him even though she knew he would've left her, that selfless act had pierced through the shield of indifference that he had hid behind for all of his life. He truly had felt reborn.

That rebirth had let him enjoy being part of a family. Allowed him to let the love of a good woman into his heart. 

But evidently the old Riddick wasn't ready to die such an easy death. He'd just been waiting for a chance to gain a foothold. And the new Riddick had given it to him by going after Elson Brenner. He was too honest with himself to say he only did it to protect Zar. He, or rather the old Riddick, had made him want to enjoy the thrill of the hunt, the anticipation of the bloody kill.

He should've known the minute he'd vowed to kill Elson Brenner. The psychokiller wasn't dead. Just momentarily unconscious due to the blow Fry's gift had dealt it. He should've killed it when he first felt the need to kill Brenner. But he hadn't. He just gave it more fuel to feed on. And it had come back.

Maybe not as strong as it once was. That was evident in the way Jack's sobs were tearing his heart apart. But who was to say that it wouldn't grow even stronger? He couldn't take the chance of hurting Zar and Jack even more.

He had to get them out of his life permanently.

He braced himself to do what he had to do. He felt Jack weakening in her blows, having worn herself and her rage out. He knew what his next move would have to be.

Whipping around to face her, he cruelly grabbed her heaving shoulders.

"Listen you little bitch! I'm through putting up with your snot nosed hero worship! Get out!"

Jack couldn't accept that this was the same man who had saved her life on Taurus 2. She wouldn't accept that he was gone. In desperation she tried to wrap her arms around his waist.

"NO! Get the fuck out!"

Almost as if it was in slow motion, Riddick watched himself drag her over to the door. It opened as it felt his approach.

He tightened his grip on her arm and shook her to get her to look up into his face. She would have bruises later. As cold as ice his silvered eyes bore down into her wide blue ones.

Quietly, deadly, he delivered the death blow to her hopes and dreams.

"If you ever come back here again, I'll do you. I'll make what Johns had planned for you look like a birthday party. I don't want you. I don't need you. I will not suffer your presence. Understand me little girl?"

He saw the fear bloom in her eyes. Felt the trembling start in her slight frame. He had convinced her that he meant business. Now for the final and irrevocable act that would ensure the severing of all ties.

He threw her out of the apartment. Crashing her against the opposite wall. Hearing her grunt of pain as her body made bruising contact. 

Moving slightly forward to let the door close, he turned to voice activate the lock to the rooms.

Turning back to Jack, he saw she had crumpled to the floor in a sobbing heap. Fighting with every muscle in his body the urge to go to her, comfort her, beg her forgiveness.

He stared down at the little girl who had first wakened his better instincts. That part of his life was over forever. He knew it, it was best if she accepted it also. 

He turned his back to her and the death of her dreams, on her pain, and walked away.


	14. 14

CHAPTER 14

Riddick walked into The Paradise six hours after his confrontation with Jack. He didn't feel like working, but he knew he needed to keep his mind occupied. Dealing with the drunks, dopers and general trouble making scum of the place would leave him little time to reflect on the shitty status of his life. 

He had walked stone cold away from Jack. From her anger and her pain. He had broken her. It left a bad taste in his mouth. 

Back on Taurus 2, when she'd been attacked by the creature in the bone yard, he hadn't been able to walk away. He had tried, but the sound of her screams and pleas had touched something in him he had thought long dead. She was just such a great kid. Her antics and admiration had brought a true smile to his face and humor in his heart. Things that he hadn't experienced in a very long time.

But the fact remained that he was Richard B. Riddick. Killer extraordinaire. At the very least he would ruin her life, fuck it up permanently. At the worst he would end up killing her. He had been soul wrenchingly honest with Fry when he told her wouldn't know how to rejoin the human race. He could fake it for so long. And maybe even in doing so gain some control over his worse instincts. But there was no guarantee. And the price was too high for Jack and Zar.

Throwing his black jacket into the employee lounge, he wandered back out to the bar area. He didn't have to worry about any commotion this early in the evening. There was only about ten people in the bar. Nursing drinks and waiting for the action to begin. 

As the bartender Luiz saw him approach, he motioned to him quietly to keep an eye on the guy directly in front of him. Sitting at the bar, he had his head hung over his drink. 

Feeling Riddick's approach, he lifted his head and stared blankly at him.

"Carson. Kinda early for you being here isn't it?" He was a member of a med-tech emergency transport team and usually worked the eleven a.m. to seven p.m. shift.

Riddick absently noted the haggard look around the guys eyes. He'd never seen him so shook.

"Yeah. Got off my shift early. Been a rough one."

Riddick traded glances with Luiz. He didn't want to hear a sob story out of some drunk he could care less about. But he figured Luiz would. He was that kind of guy. He cared too much. Made him wonder what he was doing in a bar like The Paradise. 

And sure enough, Luiz took the bait.

"What happened man? You look like Riddick here beat ya." He was trying to cheer up the guy with a little humor. It fell flat to everyone's ears, even his.

Returning to staring at his drink he swallowed convulsively.

"Found a kid today in Robertson's Alley. Man, she was a mess. Thought she was a boy at first. Dressed like it. But it was a girl. Some New Mecca missionary had found her there. Sitting up against the wall. Slashed the hell out of her wrists man! Couldn't have been more that fourteen or fifteen. Had this horrible look on her face. Like the world was coming to an end."

Riddick's sixth sense for trouble kicked in big time. Something was wrong. 

And then it hit him. Robertson's Alley was where he had killed Brenner. 

A cold drop of terror started snaking it's way down his spine. He silently prayed to the God he so hated, but so believed in to let him be wrong. Let it not be Jack.

He had been leaning against the bar, staring at the empty dance floor. But now he turned the full force of his silvered eyes onto Carson.

Carson felt the intense scrutiny and reacted as most did when in the sights of Richard Riddick. He stared back like a deer in headlights. Hoping if he stood still, the danger would pass.

"Is she dead?"

"Huh?...oh the girl, not yet. But I don't think she'll make it. Too much blood loss. Too much shock to the system. Probably be a blessing from the look on her face."

One second he was sitting at the bar, staring at Riddick's shining eyes, the next he was on the floor, with an animals breath in his face and a shiv at his throat.

"Hey! What I'd do???!!! You asked man!"

"Carolyn, what the hell you doing?" Luiz backed away from the bar slowly. Knowing there was nothing he could do if the guy decided on killing Carson. Carolyn was one bad dude, he fit in perfectly with the clientele. Carson was on his own. But maybe Luiz could at least talk Carolyn into calming down.

"Listen carefully Carson. Answer me precisely, with no extra comments. Your life depends on it. Understand?"

Carson nodded his understanding and then winced as the sharp point of shiv pricked his skin.

"What did she look like?"

"White, big blue eyes, short brown hair. Skinny, wearing boys clothing."

It sounded like Jack, but there were so many like her, runaways and those abandoned buy uncaring guardians, that he couldn't be sure.

"Anything else?"

"Well, there was a back pack next to her. Had "Jack" on it."

As he straightened, Riddick slowly took the shiv from Carson's neck.

_What had he done???!!!_

Carson didn't dare move from the floor as he watched Carolyn's empty eyes become even more lifeless. 

"Where'd you take her?"

"Med...med lab fourteen, two decks up."

His bowels, that he was sure he was going to lose as Carolyn had stared at him, tightened up as the big man turned and headed for the exit.

No one stopped him or questioned him as Riddick left. He had the look of a very dangerous man who would as soon as kill you for delaying him as explain.

Ten minutes later he stood in front of the door he thought never to see again. He didn't remember how he got there. Too busy visualizing Jack's life slip through it's shell.

But here he was at Zar's apartment. So full of emotion that his hand shook when he lifted it to press the buzzer. 

Once upon a time he would have turned his back on situations like this with nary a glance back. But that was before Carolyn Fry, Jack B. Badd and Zarifa Cholena. Now, no matter how much the old Riddick was pushing him to cut loose the responsibilities he felt, he would follow through. Jack needed Zar. Zar needed to be with Jack, if for nothing else than to make sure the kid didn't die alone. He sure as hell wasn't what Jack needed right now.

The buzzer sounded it's warning.

Thirty seconds later he heard Zar's voice asking who was there. 

He hesitated briefly telling her. She might not want to see him. He hadn't exactly treated her right. 

But he was through with the skull fuck games that had been so much a part of his life. Right up until he condemned a little girl to her self-inflected death with the last one. Never mind that he thought he was doing it for her own good. He obviously didn't know his ass from a whole in a ground when it came to dealing with the truth. It had always been easier to just lie. Play it smooth and warped at the same time. Never let them know what was really going on in that twisted brain of his.

He was just so damn tired of the games he played on his own mind. 

Don't care! Don't get involved! Find their weaknesses! Use it against him/her! Screw them before they screw you!

"It's Riddick."

The silence that greeted his name was deafening. He could picture Zar looking at the door as if it had started growing a head. 

The door smoothly slid back to reveal the suspicious face of the woman he loved. 

She looked different. She had cut her hair to shoulder length and styled it different. He felt the urge to run his hands through it. Just to feel the heat coming off her head, letting it transfer itself into his own freezing heart. Her eyes were the same soul deep blue he dreamed of every night since they had parted.

God, he missed her!

Zar continued to stare at him. Half afraid to speak for fear he was a figment of her imagination and would disappear if she broke the silence. She had no idea what had brought him to her door. He didn't look like he had had an epiphany concerning her or Jack. Which meant that he likely wasn't going to stay. 

He looked careworn and older. He had taken his goggles off and his reflective eyes showed something she would have sworn on anyone else was desperation. 

But that didn't make sense. Richard was the least desperate person she had ever met. He could handle any situation. Even if it wasn't in the right way, he never was at a loss for action.

Her heart was beating double it's normal speed. She missed him so damn much! The need to touch him almost uncontrollable, she just wanted to step into his arms. Feel him touch her again. Give her hope again. 

If she thought it would do any good she would beg him to stay.

But as she continued to stare into his sorrow filled face, she knew he was there for a unhappy reason. 

Her eyes got huge in her face as it hit her.

_JACK!_

"NO! No...no...no! She's okay, right?! Damn you Richard! Tell me!!!"

He closed his eyes as the tears started to fall down her face. 

Raising them once again to hers, he didn't even try to hide the weariness he was feeling.

"You need to come with me Zar. She's in the med-lab a few floors down. It's bad, real bad. I don't know how much time we have."

A small part of Zar must've been hoping her intuition was wrong, because she seemed to shrink before his eyes in desolation as he confirmed her fears.

He reached out to steady her. Closing his big hands over her shoulders and bringing her into his embrace.

She laid her forehead against his chest and took a couple deep breaths. Steeling herself to come to grips with yet another impending loss.

Pulling away, she stepped out of his reach. She had put her strong face on. Trying to make the outside a calm facade. Hoping it would meld with the torment raging just beneath her skin. Taking and molding some of the terror and pain into a bearable package.

He watched her gain control of her emotions and was amazed anew at the woman who seemed to pull from an ocean deep reservoir of strength. This was the woman who had tamed the bad ass, psychokiller in him. And asked for nothing in return but his respect and his affection. He had walked away from her. 

He came to the blinding realization that he, Richard B. Riddick, was basically a coward. Killing was the easy way out. Dealing with life's heaping pile of never ending shit in a normal, rational way took guts. He had always taken the easy way out. 

"Let's go Riddick. You can tell me what happened on the way over."

She moved out the door away with a purposeful stride towards the commons area. Too distracted to remember to lock the door. Riddick had thought to call her back to lock it, but on a hunch spoke the word "Lock." 

As he heard the mechanism react he allowed himself a little smile. Zar hadn't deleted his pattern from the voice authorization module. The lady had faith the size of mountains. She made him feel small and petty. 

Not something Riddick was used to feeling.

But he had a suspicion that it was something he was going to feel more of in the future. 


	15. 15

CHAPTER 15

She looked so small and weak lying in the bed. 

From her various orifices, tubes snaked to help her breath, take the wastes from her body, deliver medicines that weren't working. Monitors beeped and pinged, blinking the message that this child was dying.

There were no bandages on her wrists. They weren't necessary. The wounds would have been easily sewn by the Ravi Knitter. A device, when invented a hundred years ago, had revolutionized the medical field. Any kind of laceration could be healed within minutes of being subjected to the powerful cell regeneration field. They had standard issue for all ships, inhabited areas of the galaxy, even the average home usually had one.

No, if a person didn't know that the little girl in that bed had mutilated her wrists, they would think she was in for some other reason.

It was the blood loss that was killing her. Carson had hit it right on the nose. Too much shock for the body to recuperate from. The blood had been replaced. But too much strain had been placed on her major organs.

Jack would be dead within the day, maybe two.

Zar stood at the bottom of Jack's bed. Not bothering to wipe the silent tears that streaked down her face. What did it matter that she looked like hell?! A little girl lay dying. She had sworn to care for her, grown to love her, commiserated with over her the loss of the man in their life. Held her, laughed with her. Felt hope with her. Allowed her to fill the void in her life that Beth's death had created.

And now she was losing another daughter.

Another child she hadn't been able to save. 

She didn't wholly blame Richard for what had happened. 

He had explained his part in the tragedy on the way to the med-lab. He hadn't tried to excuse his actions. In fact he sounded like he was having a hard time keeping control of himself. Very un-Riddick like of him, she thought in the back of her mind. She had hated him for all of about a minute when he finished with the recounting. She had even smacked him in the face, a gut reaction. 

The only response he had was to lower his head. No knee jerk slap back or angry glare. He hadn't even tried to stop the second blow that she was sure he knew was coming. Zar had waited for him to react with violence, anxious for the chance to physically attack him the way he had attacked Jack. But as the seconds passed, her enraged glaring and pugnacious stance had no effect on him.

He just stood there with downcast eyes, waiting for the next blow. Waiting for the retribution he was sure he deserved.

And she realized at that point that he was just a human being trying to deal with the shit that had been heaped on him. Dealing with it stupidly, but dealing with it nonetheless. He had thought, in that lovingly twisted way of his, that he was doing Jack a favor by obliterating her hope. Giving her the gift of a life without the influence of a psychokiller. Not even willing to contemplate that HE was the gift in Jack's life. The gift of protection, strength, reliability. All the things the child had been so lacking for the previous portion of her life.

No, she knew Richard well enough that she understood why he had treated Jack the way he did. 

But she couldn't understand how he could be so naive concerning Jack's reaction to his brutalization.

She was realistic enough to acknowledge that Jack was not the most emotionally stable of kids in the first place. Just the fact that she had formed an almost obsessive attachment to an escaped convict with an extremely brutal nature begged the question.

And in the end Zar knew she had some culpability along with Jack and Richard. She had failed to bring Richard into the human race on any sort of permanent basis. And then she had failed to give Jack the strength she needed to cope. 

It was all so defeating.

No wonder Riddick cut himself off from the rest of the human race. The pain life gave to some people was such that they either bowed under it's weight, like Jack, or became waste lands of vast emptiness, like Riddick. It was a kind of death either way.

And Zar would've welcomed death right now. Anything to not have to be there when Jack breathed her last. 

But she was one of those "other" people. The ones who, whether they wanted to or not, survived each fucking disaster with mind and heart intact. One of the stupid people who kept believing in another day that would bring joy and hope. 

Zar knew better now. There would be no joy or hope in her life after this. 

Riddick stood outside the glass looking into Jack's room watching the emotions roll over Zar's face. He could tell the exact instant she had given up hope. Though the tears had stopped, her eyes became hauntingly empty. She had been broken. Not physically like Jack, but within her soul. She no longer believed.

The old Riddick tried to make him not care. Let her know that life was a bitch and it was about fucking time the woman learned it. 

The Riddick watching the little girl he loved dying, told him to fuck off and die. Then as he watched the ravished features of the woman he cherished above all others, he kicked him in the mouth to make sure he stayed quiet.

If he continued to listen to the old Riddick, the pain would have been negligible. But he knew that was the only kind of punishment he was going to receive while he still had breath in his body. Zar had slapped him, but soon her understanding nature had taken over. After the ear ringing hits ( a part of him had been proud of her strength), for long minutes he had felt the rage and hate rolling off her towards him. But then it had subtly turned to sympathy. And she had ended up hugging him, whispering words of apology and comfort. To him!

He should've been outraged at her pity. Richard B. Riddick had been many things in his life. Feared, hated, fucked-over, used, envied, ignored, dismissed. But never pitied. 

But he was too racked with guilt to allow the rage to come out. So he had just kept his eyes closed and soaked up the feel of Zar in his arms. Loving him like he actually deserved it.

Now the grief, self-loathing and frustration continued to build in him until he felt he had to scream with rage. And he would have if a more sensible part of his brain didn't warn him that he would just be causing Zar more grief in doing so. 

There was nothing he could do to help either person in that hospital room.

Or was there?

_NO! Don't go there! _

But the unbidden memory, once released from it's prison, would not go quietly back to it's cell.

The recollection of being billy clubbed senseless, a few months after arriving on Slam, by a group of guards. Then rousing in a dirty surgical room. Filled with prison officials who were part of the organized fighting atrocities. He on a gurney, under the harsh lights, restrained across his neck, wrists and ankles. 

The horrifying sight of a hack doctor coming toward him with a God awful large hypodermic. Two of the bigger guards turning his face away from the approaching quack with the sticker. His struggling and cursing against the restraints. The terror and frustration at not being able to see what they were doing to him.

Then the prick, followed by the bone deep burning of the needle's progression as it was inserted into his neck, just below his ear.

The pain had been excruciating! Even for a man like Riddick who had trained his mind and body to ignore even extreme duress. The drug had burned a hellish path along his nerve ending as it did it's dirty work on his body and brain.

Every muscle in his body jumped as if it had been shot full of electricity. His joints felt as if they were melting under the heat of a thousand suns. The brain, that had been trained to partition pain in order to negate it's power, writhed in deranged agony.

At that point he felt death coming. And he welcomed it as a release from the torture.

But it wasn't death that visited him that night. Rather it was unconsciousness. Some hours later he awoke in his cell to a pounding head and a body that felt as if it had been run over.

Curled into a ball, he hadn't even been able to get into a defensive posture when the warden and his goons had come in.

The warden complimented Riddick on surviving the procedure. Something no other inmate had yet done.

Riddick had been unimpressed. So unimpressed in fact that he told the warden and his little dick puppets to go fuck themselves.

The warden had just laughed and calmly told the angry guards to relax. That Mr. Riddick, the new Mr. Riddick that is, was going to make them a lot of money.

He went on to explain to Riddick that he'd been injected with a black market drug called Profearaben. It was hell on the patient to be exposed to the drug. Ninety-nine percent didn't survive. But those that did experienced an amazing transformation, a permanent transformation.

They became stronger, faster, stealthier, had better vision, more acute in hearing and smell, had more stamina and could withstand extreme amounts of pain. They healed from better. But more important, they healed seventy-five percent quicker than the average person. In other words, they became the perfect fighting machine. 

Later on, the amazing healing power had allowed Riddick to have his eyes mutilated, "shined." Where the procedure permanently blinded most people, he had come through the operation with little pain and even better night vision than most animals.

The only drawback for the drug's survivors was an unfortunate side effect. It made those who already exhibited extreme aggression or other violent tendencies even more likely to do so.

That was why the AFS had stopped using it in their clandestine experiments. Some of the soldiers, who already had a tendency towards aggressive behavior, they were giving it to started showing psychopathic inclinations and ended up having to be exterminated. But only after they had done some mighty nasty carnage on their fellow servicemen.

The warden had given Profearaben to Riddick, his best fighter in the illegal contests, hoping to make even more money. And if he started to show any signs of getting out of control, well, they would just have to take care of that. Now wouldn't they? If that happened, it would probably only be after Riddick had more than fulfilled his economic purpose.

Riddick didn't believe the warden at first. He felt like he was dying for the first day. But by the second morning, he could feel his body react to the drugs healing properties. He could also feel the transformation in his reflexes and mind. 

By the time he had returned to the fighting, he had totally changed into the psychokiller that would become recognized throughout the known galaxy. But he hadn't gone completely crazy. He still had control over his baser instincts. Barely.

Instead he found himself totally without remorse for any maiming, torturing or killing he did. He realized he liked to toy with his intended victims. He wasn't sure, that when it came to the non-prison population of the galaxy he per chanced to encounter, if he would still feel the same. But he figured he didn't since every time he escaped he managed to avoid killing anyone who wasn't aiming to kill him first.

Could the tainted blood that ran through his veins save Jack's life?

Would she be affected like he was? Even worse?

Was it worth the risk?

As he continued to observe Zar and Jack through the glass, he knew one thing. 

He was tired of being an instrument of death. He needed something redeeming in his life. The teenager and the woman were those things. And if he had one chance in a million to keep them, he would do everything in his power to make it so.

His decision made, he slowly made his way into Jack room. The smell of drugs and hopelessness and death, that so pervaded the med-lab, hung like a fog in the room.

"Zar?"

Still too caught up in the despair of watching Jack die, she didn't respond.

Riddick took her chin gently in his hand, turning her to face him.

Her eyes were pools reflecting a soul deep pain and a lifetime of ruined dreams. He so wanted to wipe the look of disheartenment from her beloved face.

"There might be a way."

Zar face showed a slight rise of interest. Not willing to completely believe what she heard.

"What do you mean?"

"We could get them to give her a transfusion..."

"She's already had one Richard! She's not short of blood anymore. Her body just doesn't have the wherewithal to heal itself."

"Let me finish. She could have a transfusion of MY blood. I was given a drug in Slam called Profearaben. It gives the body amazing healing properties, among other improvements. It might give her body the chance it needs to regenerate."

He saw the light of hope enter Zar's eyes. But he knew he had to qualify his offer before she got too hopeful.

"Wait a minute, don't get too excited yet! It was a black market drug tested on soldiers. It's black market because it can turn people psychopathic, if it doesn't kill them outright. Usually just those with the tendency towards violence in the first place. And not all the time and in varying degrees.

You see how I am. It warped me to a certain extent. Though how much is from my life and how much is from the drug I'll never be sure.

But do you want to take the chance with Jack? We have to be really sure that we'll be doing the right thing for her. Believe me, life as a twisted fuck is a hell of a lot crueler than death!

Hell, I don't even know if the transfusion will work!"

Zar searched the face of the man she so loved, but who so disappointed her, for long moments.

Could this be the one chance for Jack?

For Richard's redemption?

Would it destroy what was left of their life? 

Did it really matter? 

The child she loved was as good as dead. The man she loved a short step from total, permanent alienation from herself and the rest of the human race.

Yeah, this was the only chance the three of them were going to get. Take it, run with it and pray to God that it was enough and that He would, _for once_, show them His mercy.

"I want to try Richard. If she's affected the wrong way, we'll deal with it later. Though I'll be praying that we won't have too."

Taking his hand from her chin and lacing her fingers through his, she led him from the room to go in search of Jack's doctor.


	16. 16

CHAPTER 16

"You lied to me."

Only Riddick's long years of habitually not showing his reactions stopped him from whipping his head around to face her.

They were sitting in one of the med-labs numerous waiting rooms. Waiting for news of how the transfusion was affecting Jack. His blood had been taken three hours before and the staff had started the filtering procedure right after. 

He hadn't bothered to lie to the doctor in charge of Jacks case. He had told her he was in Slam and used as a guinea pig of Profearaben. He hadn't gone so far as to admit to being an escaped convict, much less the psychokiller Richard B. Riddick. But he knew he was leaving it wide open for the doctor to make inquiries with the authorities. He hadn't been able to bring himself to care. Fortunately the doc had been more concerned with Jack than with her "family." She had just given a hard, considering stare at Riddick's "shined" eyes but perfectly blank face and then gave the same kind of treatment to Zar's worried expression. She had seemed to come to the conclusion that he truly cared about Jack and left well enough alone, hurrying away to make arrangements for the transfusion. 

Jack had been given his blood over forty-five minutes ago and still no word from any of the personnel taking care of her. They had warned them that it would be at least two hours before any news would come to them. Still their warning had not helped his nerves. 

His imagination had gone amok not five minutes after he watched them wheel Jack into the room. Pictures of a raving, blood spattered teen age girl ripping through door with wild eyes and frothing mouth played before his minds eye. The longer the peaceful quite had gone on, the more he tensed up. Sure that something was wrong. By the time Zar had spoken her softly spoken accusation, he was strung so tightly that it was getting painful just to sit.

A part of him had felt the frustration and pain build in Zar as the hours crept by. Slowly but surely she'd gone from a numbed hopelessness to an edgy anger. Like most people, her brain was trying to figure out who to blame for all the bullshit it was going through. He had sensed her fear, doubt and weariness at life treating her like crap start to bubble up. A slow boil that evidently was going to release it's steam in _his_ face.

She hadn't turned to look at him when she spoke. Still staring out the star filled viewing window, her head resting in her hand, propped up against the upholstered love seat she occupied.

He let out a deep sigh and rested his head back against the headrest of the matching love seat.

He had no idea which lie she was talking about. There'd been so many of them. Some little, some great big whoppers. In either case, he didn't have the strength to fight with her over them. He sympathized with her need for the truth at this moment. After all, he hadn't allowed her the opportunity to question him in over seven months. He was sure she had a whole shitload of "Why's" just clamoring to be answered.

And he really wanted to help her deal with everything going on, give of his strength. But he didn't believe he could do it. Everything inside of him felt raw, bruised. 

In less than a day he'd gone from doing a whore, brutalizing a child, being inundated with guilt when he learned about her grisly attempted suicide, having to tell the woman he loved (and who was for all intents and purposes the mother of the child) about the attempted suicide and his part in it, seeing the child lay dying and finally allowing a part of his abysmal past seep up from the depths of his soul in order to try and save the child. He felt like God was playing a major game of monkey in the middle with his mind! 

He snorted softly in irony, realizing that usually HE was the one playing with peoples minds. That this was the first time he was on the receiving end of a royal skull fuck.

And now Zar wanted answers?! Not bloody likely!

"Leave it alone Zar."

She didn't send a comment back so he thought she had cut him a break.

Less than a minute later he told himself he should've know better. His lady didn't back away from shit!

"When you were lying in _my bed_, holding _my_ body, having just fucked me silly, you told me about your past! But you never said anything about being altered by a drug. You made it seem like you came by your abilities and tendencies by necessity. Why didn't you tell the truth? It would've explained so many things. Made it so much easier to understand!"

Ahhh... so that was the lie she was talking about.

"Didn't you trust me?"

The pain and betrayal in her voice so reminded him of Jack's during their confrontation that his heart squeezed tightly.

"I've never trusted anybody more in my life."

"Then why?!"

How to explain to her his shame at being treated like a lab rat? Being unable to stop them from using his body. Forced to do their bidding and play their games. Making the prison officials rich while he killed and maimed and laid his life on the line. Watching as if from a distance the decent parts of him that still remained go swirling down the toilet with each death and dismemberment. And finally his own confusion as to whether his acts and personality were all the result of the drug, or if it had just hastened the inevitable.

He turned his head to look at her. Expecting to see only her profile as she gazed unseeing out the window. Instead he found her looking right at him. Her blue eyes filled with tears, her freckled face red with anger.

Riddick knew the tears and anger weren't all directed towards him. She was under a lot of stress, scared witless for Jack, afraid to hope, afraid not to. She was just looking for a fight. Something to get rid of her anger at being useless in helping Jack, her guilt in not being able to prevent the suicide. Zar was venting some big time frustration, though she probably didn't know it. 

Being forced by his survival instincts to be excellent at reading peoples emotions Riddick knew what was going on. Any other time, under any other circumstances, he would have given her the fight she needed to let off steam.

But at this moment, he just didn't have the strength to inflict any more pain on her, even if it was of her own doing.

He ran his eyes over her disheveled clothes. She had obviously just got off her shift at the yard when he had found her. She was still in her one piece, dirty uniform. Her hair mildly tussled from the numerous times she had run her hands through it in frustration and despair. A shaft of compassion ran through him as he watched her. For such a physically sturdy woman, she looked awfully fragile at that moment. As if each moment of uncertainty and pain was draining the vigor from her body.

Silently he lifted his arms and opened them wide. Inviting her to come to him. To let his body shelter her from the storm swirling around them.

He saw her lips tremble in reaction. For a timeless moment she just stared at him in hopelessness, fear, and anger. Then she was on her feet, standing before him.

The tears had finally started to fall down her cheeks.

Yet she couldn't seem to make the final move into his still open arms. 

He wanted to wrap his arms around her and bring her down onto his lap, but he knew she had to accept his comfort of her own free will. If he forced the issue, she would just blame him later for taking advantage of her weakness.

So he stared back at her with his shined eyes. His face somber. Showing no judgement towards her. Just offering what strength he had left.

Zar closed her eyes briefly. Opening them, she reached for his right hand with her left, entwining their fingers. Slowly crawling into his lap, laying her head on his shoulder. 

His left arm curled around her shoulders, tucking her up under his chin.

For a long time neither said a word. Soaking up each others presence was all the moment required. Not wanting to ruin the peace they found in each other arms.

She felt his large, muscled chest rise and fall with each breath he took. Soul shakingly happy that he was alive and there with her. Reveling in the sound of his heart beating beneath her ear. Confirming that he was whole and intact in body, if not in soul.

He felt the solid weight of her against his body, the softness of her bottom resting on his thighs. And for once it was a comforting, not sexual feeling that it inspired. He looked down at their entwined fingers and marveled at the smallness of her hands. His fingers long and blunt. Hers short and tapered. Their skins tones mixing her pale white with his light tan. 

He brought his hand up from her shoulder and ran his fingers through her hair. Feeling the pain in his soul ease just a little with the heat and scent that was Zar's alone. Grateful to God, truly grateful for once, that he had her in his life. Even if it was only temporary. It had been a gift that he had never thought to ever receive or experience.

She raised her face, looking up into his with all the love and sadness that was running through her heart.

The tears still glistened on her cheeks and he released her hand to wipe them away. 

Her lips parted in a small smile of gratitude, his replied in like manner.

Slowly his lips descended to press softly against hers. A gentle caress between two mouths. Speaking the words of love and acknowledgment with their bodies so as not to break the sheltering silence they had wrapped themselves in.

Riddick was so gentle that Zar was reminded of the night of her watershed nightmare. Once again he was enveloping her in the cocoon of his strength and protection. She remembered how he had made her feel alive that night. Cleansing her of the ugliness of her past, making her want to be apart of something again. She so wanted that feeling at that moment!

Softly her tongue ran along the seams of his lips. Sending him a wordless plea of desire_. Make me feel loved again! Make me feel alive again! Make me feel hope again! Make me feel safe again! _

Make me feel!

Richard briefly lifted his face from hers. Searching her eyes for confirmation of her tongues request. Afraid he had read more into it than there was actually there in his need for her. 

He saw his own need and desire reflected back in her eyes. A surge of hunger raced through his body. Not just to have sex with her, but to feel her alive in his arms again. To bring her joy after all the months of confusion and hours of pain.

Sitting her straight up in his lap, her knees on either side of his thighs, he took her face between his hands and devoured her mouth with his own.

Their tongues did the age old dance of love. Meeting, retreating, fencing, rubbing against each other in one long exploration of need.

Breaking off the long kiss with the need for air, he pressed the side of her face gently against his chest. Heart beating crazily, he tried to control the raging hunger rioting through his enflamed body. 

He couldn't believe he'd forgotten where they were at!

In a med-lab waiting room for the love of God!

Evidently Zar hadn't quite come to that state of mind yet because she was opening his black shirt and running her fingers over his chest. Lowering her head she started to run her tongue over his flesh, alternating with little nips and sucks.

His breath rushed out of his body with the new surge of excitement her mouth created. Almost aroused beyond the point of caring, he new he had to stop them before it went too far.

Grabbing her head between his hands he forcefully raised her face to meet his eyes.

"We can't! Anyone could come in! You'd be embarrassed to all hell!"

Her face flushed again, although this time due to arousal of a different nature, Zar licked her lips. 

She knew they shouldn't be doing this in that room. At that time. But she needed him in a way beyond physical desire. She needed him to reaffirm that she was alive! That she would survive as whole human being no matter what came next. She needed him to make her forget the world beyond that waiting room door, if only for a few minutes.

"Please...make me feel alive again! Make me forget! I know it won't last forever, but just give me a little peace and happiness. To get through whatever's coming next! Please Richard, love me!"  
He couldn't tell her no. Hell, he _didn't_ want to tell her no! He figured the med-lab people had walked in on stranger things than two people making love. If they got lucky, no one would ever know. They had at least an hour by his worst estimate. 

With the amount of wanting running through his veins, he knew it would take a lot less than an hour. It was as if he hadn't had sex in years rather than the hours it had been. The thought of Lossa now repulsed him in comparison to the freshness of Zar. How could he have ever thought Lossa resembled Zar?! It was like comparing the Sun and the moon. Though both were objects in the sky, one was full of brightness and life-giving, the other dark and lifeless. Zar made him want to be a better man. Lossa made him want to forget he _was_ a man. 

He was taking too long to answer her plea and Zar was sure he was going to try and talk her out of it.

"Please Richard..."

"Shhh...I'll take care of you. Don't worry. I'm just trying to figure out how we're going to do this."

"I don't care if it's uncomfortable! I just want to feel you!"

Relief at his acquiescence made Zar start unbuttoning the rest of his shirt. Pushing it off his shoulders so that her hands and mouth could travel over the newly exposed flesh.

A part of her was horrified at her bawdiness. But the other more dominant part of her, the part that had survived tragedy after tragedy told her to get happiness any way, any how, any where she could. She squashed the horrified part of her down into a little hole in her mind. Promising to let it out later. Maybe.

Richard marveled at Zar's aggressiveness. He'd never seen her this way. He liked it. A lot. But she was making him too hot too quick. And any thoughts of finding a more comfortable spot for her were fast disappearing under her wicked mouth and fingers. Her hands were rubbing over his nipples, her mouth not far behind. Her pelvis grinding against his still fully covered hardness. He hadn't done anything yet but kiss her and she seemed fully primed. Fine with him!

"Okay lady, have it your way. Stand up!"

Zar felt him lifting her from his lap and groaned in disagreement. 

He stood her on her feet while he remained sitting. 

"Relax. I'm just getting rid of some our clothes. 'Lights Off!'"

"Oh...good!" She smiled languidly into his milky eyes, the only light in the room reflected from Polaris 5 outside the window..

_Damn, what a woman! She amazes me every time I'm with her. How the hell did I get so stupid as to leave her and Jack? Must of been brain damage from long ago just lately making itself known. Only reasonable explanation._

Reaching for the Velcro tabs to her suit he quickly had the heavy covering off her. Next came her bra and panties. Within a minute she was naked, chilled slightly by the coolness of the room in comparison to the heaviness of her suit and the leftover heat of Richards body.

Lifting his hips, he shucked his pants off. He hadn't bothered to put underwear on earlier.

He was as naked as Zar and fully aroused. Not in the least bothered by the coolness of the room, but hungry nonetheless for the heat of her body.

Grabbing her hips he brought her to stand between his open legs. Bringing her belly to his lips to be kissed reverently. Sliding his hands up her sides till his hands cupped the undersides of her breast. 

Her gasp of pleasure turned to moans as his fingers pulled and gently twisted her nipples. Feeling the pull of hunger glide down to between her legs. That place that was pulsing and moistening quickly for him.

Her hands reached for his head, still laving her stomach. Running her sensitive fingers over his rough scalp. A thin layer of growth sending shivers up through her arms. Caressing her hands down over his ears, along his neck, down across his back. Feeling the muscles clench and stiffen with desire as she stroked his heated flesh.

Removing his hands from her breasts, he slid them down slowly along her belly. Meeting and dipping briefly in between her thighs. Sending a shower of sparks along her nerve endings. From there they traveled down around her thighs to cup her bottom. Urging her forward as he sat back against the over stuffed love seat.

Her knees came along side his as he spread his legs wider to open her for his entry.

Placing her hands on his shoulders for leverage, Zar gasped as she felt him place the head against her opening. 

Then slowly descended onto him fully as his hands gently guided her hips down.

She had forgotten how good it felt to be joined with Richard! It went beyond the physical plane. It was like a piece of her body that had been missing since birth was reattached. All the nerve endings alive with pleasure and desire. Her mind at peace with the knowledge that her body was whole once again.

They stayed that way, joined but not engaged in the dance of love, for long minutes. Enjoying the contact of flesh inside of flesh, skin touching skin, heat mixing with moisture. Running their lips over each others face and neck. Then kissing deeply, their tongues imitating the motion their hips would soon enact. 

Letting the peace of togetherness inundate their souls. Blotting out, or at the very least lessening, the horror that was life at that moment. Refusing to let love give way to sadness and tragedy for the few precious minutes allowed them.

Who finally moved first neither would remember, but soon their hips were rising and retreating against each other. 

Zar gasped as the friction created liquid fire through her body. Breaking the kiss and raising her face toward the ceiling, trying to experience every little spark of pleasure that Richard gave her.

Seeing her lovely face contort in pleasure he smiled in the dark. He would never again think of sex as just being sex. With Zar it meant so many more things. Life, happiness, renewal, hope, forgiveness. Redemption.

Moving his hands from her hips he brought her breasts to his mouth. Sucking deeply and strongly on the nipples. Feeling her core flutter in response. Grasping his hardness in response to the desire overwhelming her.

She was making little groans in the back of her throat and he knew she couldn't hold out much longer. Redoubling his thrusts he brought her head down for a quick brutal kiss. Stabbing at her with his tongue, he felt her nails sink into his shoulders at she started to shake with reaction.

One hand pulling on a nipple, he reached the other down between her legs. Gently rubbing and flicking the swollen pearl throbbing there.

Zar's body exploded in a thousand stars. The pleasure lashing her from everywhere. Shaking her like she was in an earthquake. Going on and on till she felt all the strength leave her body and flow into his. The tingles shooting along her nerve endings, leftover pulses racing along her womanhood. Clenching him deeply because it just felt too good to stop.

But finally she had no more strength to move. Laying her forehead on his shoulder her heavy breathing making her body pant.

Soon she realized that he was still very hard within her. But he wasn't moving! Raising her head she stared at his face lit in profile by the planets light.

"Richard?"

"Shhh...I just want to stay like this for a minute. Feeling me in you. A part of you. Knowing I make you happy. Being with you like this is the most happiness I've ever had! The most I'll ever have. Thank you Zar. For giving me the gift of your love. No matter what happens, it's important you know that I appreciate and cherish you above all else. Understand?"

At one time she would have refused to acknowledge the possible doom in his words. But the last few months had shown her how unpredictable his life was. She wouldn't waste time by fighting with him over his view of his destiny. All she could do was give him the heady aphrodisiac of pleasure till either he believed in a future for them, or ...well, there was no "or." They had both seen the alternative and it meant a lonely, empty and desolate life for them. With consequences that affected the life of young girl.

Moving her hips with a languid rhythm, she set about to bind him to her permanently with pleasure.

"Love me Richard. Make me alive all over again. I know you can do it. You're hard enough to make love to three women! Teach me how to give you so much pleasure you'll never leave again!"

He knew what she was doing. But damned if he wanted her to stop. The more she took from him the more he wanted to give. 

Joining her in her movements he realized that the little break in the action he had taken had given him some control over his desire. He could bring her to peak again before he reached his limit. 

This time he waited as long as he could before touching her anywhere else on her body. He just stared into her eyes. Letting her see what giving her pleasure did to him. How it made him strong and weak at the same time. Giving her the gift of his vulnerability. Letting his face reflect his almost out of control hunger for her. His approaching climax written all over his face with intense eyes, clenched lips and the sweat poring off his brow.

Zar was breathing heavily through her mouth. The friction between her legs was so strong it was almost becoming painful. But it was a slight pain edged with a great deal of pleasure. She felt if she didn't come soon she'd go mad!

Finally reaching the point where he knew he couldn't hold back a minute longer, he again reached between her legs and softly rubbed along edge of her clitoris, knowing that after her recent orgasm direct contact would be painful and that she would still be sensitive enough to attain her peak through indirect touch.

The soft moan of pleasure and stiffening body announcing her crisis sent him over the edge. 

He was always surprised at the feeling of intense peace that the intense sensuality brought with it. Racing all over his body and brain like a storm lashing a ship. Drops of pleasure forcing themselves into every nook and cranny of his psyche. Healing the fissures that had been created in cruelty and hatred. Making him feel a little bit more human each time.

Feeling as if he was purging his pain and doubts along with his seed into her body. Where she changed them into happiness and hope.

Zar collapsed against his chest. Body heaving and shaking, awash with pleasure and lassitude. Nonetheless her mind screamed out in anguish _'How could he give this up?! How could he deny me this?!'_

Not realizing in her pain that she had spoken aloud, she jerked when he responded.

"I can't Zar. I can't give this up. And I'll never deny you this ever again. At least while it's in my power to do so. No more running away. I'll stay as long as you want me to. For better or for worse, I'll stay."

He had ran his hands up through her slightly damp hair as he spoke. so that her face was framed in his hands. Looking deep into her troubled and disbelieving eyes, trying to convey the honesty and conviction behind his pledge.

"You'll stay even if...Jack..."

Giving her a slight shake he said the words she couldn't bring herself to say.

"Yes! Even if Jack dies! We'll make it through some way. You've convinced me that we're better together than apart. And the simple fact of the matter is that I don't think I could live without you now. You're too much a part of me. It scares me, I don't mind telling you that. I don't like to need people. Opens a person up all sorts of painful and deadly situations. But I'd rather live with you and be worried about the 'what ifs' than without you and be the emotional black hole I was before."

Zar could only smile in reaction to his words. Relief that Richard wasn't deserting her leaving her weak. Resting her forehead against his, she whispered a small prayer.

"Thank God."


	17. 17 The End

CHAPTER 17

CHAPTER 17

It had been a contradictory three months since the suicide attempt.

At first, there had been knee-weakening relief and joy when Jack had responded well to the transfusion. Within hours her vital signs had stabilized and the medical staff had declared her out of danger.

By the next day she was conscious.

And an amnesiac.

She had no memories of anything after stowing aboard the Hunter-Gratzner. The doctor speculated that it had something to do with the unholy mixture of extreme physical trauma, the Profearaben in Riddick's blood and having her cryo-sleep cycle interrupted all those months earlier at the time of the crash. Arrested cryo-sleep had been known to cause some pretty bizarre repercussions. 

Whatever the cause, Jack (who wondered why everyone was calling her Jack instead of her real name Audrey) had awoken confused and scared at the strange surroundings and even stranger faces around her. Evidently Audrey had only thought up the name Jack after the crash.

Zar had been nonplussed at first. How could she explain the crappy life Jack, now Audrey, had lived for the last year? The crash, the death, the fear, the rescue, the Elson Brenner debacle, Riddick's desertion and finally the suicide attempt? Hell, she didn't even know who Riddick was!

Audrey stared at him, as fascinated as she had been upon first meeting him, as he leaned against the wall. His un-goggled face totally closed off from the rest of them in the room. His attention completely focused on Audrey. He seemed almost wound up. As if he was waiting for an attack. Zar felt unease tickle the back of her neck, but she was too confused over what to do about Audrey's amnesia to really think it through.

Taking a deep breath she tried to build a plan. Finally she decided on skimming over the last few months. Fill in the gaps as vaguely as possible.

She told her about the Hunter-Gratzner crashing on Taurus 2. How Riddick, who she introduced as Richard Carolyn, and an Islamic holy man they called Imam had gotten her off the planet. About Zar taking the three of them in and then she and Richard becoming involved. As for why Audrey was in the hospital, she said it was due to some "accident" in an alley.

Luckily Audrey was still too out of it to question the gaping holes in Zar's story. But Zar knew that one day they probably would need to be filled in. She'd deal with when, and if, the time came.

She and Richard had taken Audrey home the next day.

As the next few days unfolded, Zar watched the bond that had been ripped asunder between the girl and escaped convict grow again.

Richard seemed to calm as Audrey showed no signs of regaining her memory. The doctor had been pretty sure that it wouldn't come back completely. Though it was possible for some things to resurface. But as for a thorough memory recovery? Highly unlikely. 

He had been rescued from having to atone for the damage he had done. Well, not completely. _He_ knew he owed a lot to both Zar and Audrey. He would do his best, but it would be easier to do since Audrey couldn't remember his treatment of her. 

Zar was another story. But being the loving woman she was, she had welcomed with open arms. He knew he should be grateful and he was.

Both he and Zar had agreed to keep his past from Audrey. If the authorities ever found out he was still alive, not an impossible happening, then the less she knew the better. 

He had moved back in with Zar the same day Audrey came home. And for the first time in months, Zar felt as if she was completely awake. Not just existing, going through the motions.

She wanted to put Audrey in therapy knowing that whatever had made the kid run away in the first place was still an issue. Hoping to forego a repeat of the attempted suicide. Richard had fought her on it though. His lack of confidence in the psychiatric world a direct result of his experiences with them in prison.

But Zar had persevered. Pointing out to him that with the possibility of the Profearaben rearing it's nasty head one day, Audrey would need to learn self-control even more. Running away when things got ugly could be lethal to her or someone around her now.

She had almost felt guilt at the look of regret that flashed over his face. But this was something that absolutely needed to be done, and if she had to use guilt to get his cooperation, then so be it. He'd done it to her after all. What was good for the goose was just dandy for the gander.

Zar realized with that uncharitable thought that her heart hadn't forgiven Richard as easily as she thought. Her body had welcomed him back without reservations, her heart was a little more hesitant to trust again so quickly. Once burned, twice shy. He was such a complex man that she didn't know what was going on inside his head. For all she knew, he'd been yanking her chain with the promise to stay put.

Riddick seemed to sense her distrust after her initial act of forgiveness. He figured that now that Audrey was back with them, Zar had had a chance to reflect on his misuse of her.

He could only think of one way of reassuring her. 

He asked her to marry him. 

It would have to be under the name Richard Carolyn, and probably therefore not legal. But it was more an act of reassurance and commitment than a legal one.

Zar had promptly, though smilingly, turned him down.

She had uttered a simple "No thanks" and walked away. Leaving him the one, for once, to wonder what was going on in _her_ head.

Zar was touched he had asked, but simply felt that he was not the marrying kind. With the past hanging over his head, a family would be more of a liability than an asset. He needed to be able to leave without entanglements. She knew he would argue with her, so she didn't give any specific reason for her refusal. She correctly counted on his pride to keep him from pursuing the issue. 

Chances were that he would be leaving one day. It could be voluntarily or not. In days, months or years. But if she had learned one thing over the last year it was this. That the same survival instinct that had let her come through the attack on Jessup 3, had also let her persevere through Riddick's desertion. She could survive without him. It would only be as half-alive, but it would be survival. She loved him, wanted him, and needed him to a scary extent. But she'd be damned if she permanently tied herself to a man who would be causing her more pain sooner or later. 

Their current situation suited her just fine!

Audrey, whose last name turned out to be McAllister, became a totally different person. She didn't have the baggage of the Fry and Shazza death, or Riddick's desertion weighing her down anymore. The therapy, which she initially resisted, was helping with the original problem. Though what the problem might be remained a secret between her and her therapist.

She lost the brittle edge of fear that had always seemed to taint her happiness. She laughed more, talked more, simply seemed to enjoy life more. And the nightmares totally ended. There were no more flesh eating monsters anymore to inhabit her dreams.

Then it happened. The day Riddick and Zar had dreaded. She had asked who Fry was. They had just looked at each other, debating what to tell her.

Richard had calmly asked why she wanted to know. 

She explained, rather embarrassed, that when she was in the hospital, she had a dream about a blonde, slender woman. She knew the woman's name was Fry, but she wasn't familiar. They had been in a wet, semi-dark cave with someone else, though she didn't know whom. In the dream they were staring at a flame that was slowly dying out. Audrey sensed that when the flame went out, death would claim her.

The woman had taken her hand and squeezed it, giving her hope and comfort from the coming darkness. 

Then looked at her and said, "You have to hold on honey! Don't give up yet. He'll come save you like he did the last time. He's bringing someone else too! Just hold on a little longer. Don't give into the darkness!"

Her words had made Audrey fight the darkness that had been sucking slowly her down. She knew that she was dying and up until then, hadn't really resisted. Strangely, she didn't know _why_ she hadn't resisted. She couldn't think of a reason now as to why she would want to be dead.

Zar had seen the instant flash of pain spasm over Riddick's face as Audrey talked about the cave and Fry. As he became more and more in touch with his humanity, the horror's he'd inflicted on Audrey, Fry and Imam had become like bedsores on his soul. It seemed that whenever he could start forgetting about them, something brought them right back into his face. 

Before his life with Zar, Riddick would've interpreted that as a sign, from God or Fate, that he didn't deserve a chance at redemption. That he was doomed to carry around the baggage of his past. But she had taught him to look at memories in a different way. Now he saw those reminders as warnings that if he didn't stay in touch with his humanity, he could easily slip back into Richard B. Riddick, psychokiller extraordinaire. 

Now as he looked at the kid that had become his daughter, with her questioning face and trusting eyes, he knew redemption wasn't something that you earned once. It was something that you constantly had to qualify for. By choosing to do good, not bad. By thinking of others first. He hoped he was up to the challenge, but new it wouldn't be easy. There was a lifetime of necessary selfishness to overcome.

He didn't know what to make of Audrey's dream. Had Fry told her those words in the cave when the light was dying and before they found the glowworms? Or had Fry managed to come back to once again rescue the girl she so zealously fought for on Taurus 2?

He didn't know if he believed in ghosts. Probably not. With the amount of killing he'd done he figured if anybody would be haunted it would've been him. Nonetheless, he still felt the cold chill of uncertainty ripple down his spine when he let it be a possibility. Maybe they hadn't come back to torment him before because he really hadn't had a soul before Zar. Or at least not much of one. 

But they still had to answer Audrey's question. For a split second he contemplated telling her the truth. His conscious demanded it. But then he realized that he would just be burdening her with an ugly episode from his past. And if he was totally honest with himself, he didn't want to give up this "Jack" that was here now. He still had a hard time remembering her real name. He liked the fact that the one who gazed at him now with trust and admiration was so like the one he met on Taurus 2. Before he and life had done their dirty work on her psyche. He never again wanted to see the one that he had left broken, bruised and sobbing on the floor outside his apartment on that Godforsaken day!

"She was one of the crew on the Hunter-Gratzner. You, her and Imam had taken shelter in a cave while I took some equipment to our rescue ship. There were some...wild animals...on the planet and it was safer for all of you to hide out there till the ship was ready."

"Oh. Where is she now?"

Richard and Zar looked at each other in the deafening silence. 

What could they tell her? What _should_ they tell her?

Zar felt the battle within Richard as he struggled to find the right answer. She saw the man she only half trusted, but fully loved, emotionally bludgeon himself over the memory of Carolyn Fry's death. He would never forgive himself for her cruel end. It was something he would have to learn to live with, but that didn't mean Audrey had to also. Sometimes, just sometimes, lying was the best way.

"She came with you guys when you made it to Polaris. But she had to get back to the base for a debriefing. She hasn't kept in touch. Probably too busy and all."

Riddick had given Zar a look of gratitude. He wouldn't have been able to lie to Audrey. He'd done it one too many times and he didn't have the stomach, hell, the balls, for it anymore. Even if it meant sparing her grief. He was just so damned tired of keeping all the lies straight!

"Oh. I understand." Actually she didn't. But she could tell that her dream had really freaked Richard out. She didn't want to upset him or get him mad at her. Something kept telling her that she wouldn't like the consequences.

Zar had hoped that would be the end of the reminiscing. And three months later, Audrey still hadn't experienced anymore flashbacks. 

She had become enthralled with Richard all over again. This time he was gentler with her. Talking to her, letting her hang out with him when he wasn't working at the docks, the job he'd taken back when he returned to the upper levels. He taught her self-defense techniques. Though Zar wasn't sure how smart that was.

He'd pointed out that martial arts were more about self-control and learning about when a situation merited striking than about violence per se. He figured it would help Audrey if the Profearaben ever reared its ugly head. Zar came around to his way of thinking and even joined them once or twice.

But today, coming home from a grueling shift of dealing with idiots and assholes, she still felt uneasy about things.

She loathed lying to Audrey, but truly believed it was in the girls best interests.

Her relationship with Richard on the other hand just left her feeling...jittery. Stagnant was probably a better word for it. They made love still, slept together every night. He never gave her cause to doubt him in any way. But she kept erecting a barrier to keep him from claiming his former place in her heart. Her heart wanted to trust him, but her mind wouldn't let her. She didn't know how long they could go on like that. He was patient now, but it couldn't be easy for him. She was afraid that she'd lose him due to her own weakness. And she didn't have the faintest clue on how to convince herself to let the past go and just enjoy the present. 

_SHE,_ who had become a champion at letting go of the past in order to save the future, couldn't get a grip!

So she opened the door to the apartment with a tired soul and body. And raised her eyes to a mind blasting sight. A sight that made all her doubts blow away like sand in the wind. 

Richard and Audrey sat facing each other. He with a shiv in his hand, running it over his lathered scalp.

Audrey with one of her own, doing the same thing. She had let her hair grow over the past year and it was to her shoulders. Or it had been. Now it was falling in sheaves to the ground at her feet. 

Both man and girl had grown big silly grins on their faces as they spied Zar standing stunned in the doorway. 

In that moment Zar knew that everything would work out. There were most probably bad times ahead, but they would stick it out together. They were a family built in love if not in blood. Though plenty of that had been shed in order for them to get to this point.

Riddick had earned his redemption. And had vowed not to throw it away. By including Audrey in a ritual that signified all he ever was or would be, he showed that he had willingly rejoined the human race.

Jack was back! 

The new and improved Jack. With Richard and Zar by her side, she would never be the afraid, the weak, the lonely. Ever again.

As Zar smiled back at the absurd duo, she reflected on the paths that had led them to each other. 

Through the strength of one another, they had all earned redemption from their pasts. Whether it be from violence, running away or tragedy or all of the above. They were given a second chance. And with each other, they would make sure they used it, not abused it.

Life could throw whatever it wanted at them now. They weren't alone in body or soul.

Thanks for reading and all the great feedback. Look for the sequel in the coming weeks. 


End file.
